Simple – are children of seperation ok? Happy?

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  • #40548 Report

    Robsheffield
    Participant

    I have a 3 year old, separated last year and still see him lots (40/60) but more during lockdown.

    He seems happy. Very settled.
    But my head is all over the place – just want to hear some stories of happy children after separation? Tips and advice appreciated too on how to stop feeling guilty!

    thanks

    #40549 Report

    steveb2
    Participant

    My seven-year-old is full of life and energy (far more energy than his dad has ever had) 🙂

    So yes – they can be happy.

     

     

    #40553 Report

    Robsheffield
    Participant

    Thanks for your response!

    #40558 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    We split when son was 3, so similar. He’s now 12 and is happy, settled, doing well at school.

    The things that matter, in my opinion, are to fulfil your child’s expectations. So if you promise to take him out on a Saturday to soft play or to come and see him on a Tuesday night, stick to it.

    Make sure he sees a mum & dad who agree and support each other, and both love him equally, even if you argue behind the scenes.

    Be involved when he starts school. Go along to sports day etc. My ex refused to get involved and our son – now aged 12 – still feels let down.

    Having separated can be an advantage. The parents of one of my son’s friends were getting a divorce but still in the same house, and the arguing had obviously been discussed in the playground. Son came home one day, gave me a hug and said “you and daddy never argue, do you.”

    That was when I knew separating and not arguing in front of him was the right approach, even if I spend a fair amount of time biting my tongue.

    Don’t feel guilty. Happy kids need happy parents.

    #40571 Report

    Robsheffield
    Participant

    Thank you so much for this! We seem to be coparenting well and I agree with everything you have said.

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