Should I tell my ex I’m having his baby?

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  • #21668 Report


    <span style=”font-family: ‘.SFUIText’; font-size: 17pt;”>Hi, new to the forum and still trying to get my head around my situation. Any advice will be appreciated. </span>

    <span style=”font-family: ‘.SFUIText’; font-size: 17pt;”>I had a miscarriage in November, my relationship with my ex broke down afterwards and he dumped me just before Christmas. I blamed myself and the post mc emotions for the break up but after we split certain things came to light..for example he was cheating on me with an engaged co worker, he had spent hundreds on online cam girl porn, he had saved images of indecent young, anime type girls, he had many online dating profiles..the list goes on but it helped me realise that I wasn’t the problem in the relationship – with that many lies hidden it was doomed from the start. </span>

    <span style=”font-family: ‘.SFUIText’; font-size: 17pt;”>From then he moved out and I contacted him to arrange collecting his belongings. I wanted a fresh start for 2019. The meeting to collect his things got very heated after he brought half his family with them, I was verbally abused and left threatening messages and they barged their way into the house to take belongings that weren’t his. The meeting ended in me calling the police and filing a report against my ex and his family. </span>

    <span style=”font-family: ‘.SFUIText’; font-size: 17pt;”>I thought that was the end of everything until I found out a few weeks later that I was pregnant and had been since early December. Amazingly despite all the stress over the new year the baby is doing well and I’m almost at 12 weeks. </span>

    <span style=”font-family: ‘.SFUIText’; font-size: 17pt;”>I took time to decide what to do and I couldn’t bring myself to have a termination despite the likelihood that I will be raising this baby alone. I’m happy and looking forward to meeting my little one but the only thing stopping me from enjoying this pregnancy is worrying about my ex.</span>


    <span style=”font-family: ‘.SFUIText’; font-size: 17pt;”>Should I tell him given his abusive nature and questionable online activity? Will my baby be safe with him and his intimidating family? Am I better off saying nothing to protect the baby? If you feel I should tell him, how? We are no longer in contact and the last I heard of him he is getting with his co worker. I don’t want to be told I am just stirring up trouble for him. I just want to do the right thing for my baby. </span>

    #21679 Report


    After reading all of that. I personally wouldn’t tell him.

    #21680 Report


    I normally think children should have the chance of a relationship with their father but this time I agree with Jade. Your safety and that of your baby need to come first.

    can you move away? Start fresh somewhere new?

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