Should i pay more?

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Akay.
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  • #59723 Report

    Misunderstooddadz
    Participant

    Hi all.

    I have 2 kids, 8 and 11. I pay the mum child maintentance, calculated by yougov. I have the kids every other weekend amd also take holidays from work sometimes so I can look after them. Because of work times amd living about an hour away, it doesnt male sense to visit them for an hour during the weekdays, so when i have them, we make it special and have quality time together. I also have a new partner who has two of her own the same age and I pay ALL the shopping costs, its just hpw we worked out me moving in with her.

    Since having my two over I noticed they kept coming over with dirty or clothes that were far too small. Therefore I made the decision to buy a whole new wardrobe for each of them..

    All the above into account, my ex has now asked me to pay for breckfast and afternoon clubs for the little one because of her timings in needing to go back to work.. I would have thought this would come out of the child maintenance? Please help.. I feel I’m doing the best I can, but she keeps asking for more money and it makes me anixious everytine to go back to her.

    Thanks all, take care.

    #59724 Report

    Dpsebast
    Participant

    I can’t offer much advice here as I’m very new to all this and interested to know. I would have thought CMS would have covered the children core costs. There obviously going to be other costs which would have to be shared between the parents and don’t think it’s fair for one parent to bear all costs

    #59737 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    if your paying maintenance through child maintenance service, then you would only be required to pay the amount they set for you to pay. if you want to make any additional voluntary payments to your ex, then that’s up to you. if your living together with your partner and her kids, then if you inform CMS about those kids living with you, they should reduce your maintenance payments.

    #59755 Report

    si7160
    Participant

    the CMS is a statutory amount based on a set formula

    my ex has pension and travel deductions out of it which reduces her payment

    I have the children the majority of time

    I used to share certain bills like school uniform plus clubs etc

     

     

     

    #60105 Report

    Jessicasully101
    Participant

    Hi,

    new here … my partner pays the amount calculated by the CMS for 3 children he shares with his ex. He lives an hour away and has them twice a week. He also has joint debt (just in his name) that he pays as well as living costs ect. His earnings look high on his p60 but in reality, his monthly bills are pretty high (not able to reduce). He travels for 3 hours a day to get to and from work so travel costs are high as well as an hour to get his kids each way. He has nothing at the end of the month and his maintenance is due to go up another £300 next year …. Is there anything yet can do about it? His children want for nothing and are happy.
    the ex is financially better off than the both if us out together! But won’t discuss a lower payment

    #60106 Report

    Akay
    Participant

    hi,

    From personal experience, payments through CMS should cover all costs for the main care giver when it comes to looking after the child. Anything asked beyond this, would be given voluntary by yourself.
    My ex refuses to pay CMS as he doesn’t see why he should pay to help run my house. I took several things into account when persuing this, comparing what i do and what he does for our son. I buy all clothes, electronics, medicines, which I supply when he visits, I pay for all child care, I take him on holidays, I pay for clubs, my house is his home, he buys odd piece of clothing, never pays child care, never takes him on holiday, and he’s lucky to have him 24 hours in 1 week, although he now buys him presents on birthdays and Christmas’
    If you do everything you say you do then I think asking additional costs are unreasonable, although I see frustration for mum having to arrange child care to work but dad doesn’t, however CMS payments should help cover these.

    x

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