Should I keep the baby or not?

[Ashley1985]

Hi,

I managed to get into a very tricky situation. I am married to a man I have been with for 12 years. We had our up and downs over the time and got married 2years ago. Iam 31 and pregnant. We were having issues before I got pregnant, loads of arguments from my side because hubby has got OCD and I find it difficult to support him, he also doesnt work and lost a lot of our money on a silly business activity I didnt fully support. More we argue worse he feels and although most of the times I support him fully sometimes I feel like its too much to be a bread winner and head of the household and I snap. When I snap I shout and it again worsens his OCD.. he just told me if we were not expecting he would want to divorce me. I feel like we can work on our relationship as we still love each other and maybe he can get better and start working again..he refuses to go to therapy and says that if I treat him nicely and we dont argue that is enough for him to get OCD under control. I worry thats not enough and I worry our child would be affected by this too.. Iam thinking of abortion and then divorcing him although I have always dreamt of us having family I feel like its too difficult and we are too unhappy to proceed. Iam not enjoying being pregnant as I constantly worry about us him finances..I have got a very good job but sometimes I wish I was taken care of myself for a change.. isnt it too late for me to start all over? I really dont know what to do I worry if I terminate things Iam going to regret it forever..any advice will be much appreciated.

[Maria_91]

Hey Ashley,

I cannot really give you much advice but I can tell you what I decided. I was in quite much the same situation, didn’t have a good relationship with my bf and found out I was pregnant. I wanted to keep it but he didn’t. He is extremely stubborn and doesn’t respect or support me with anything that was not his idea. I decided I will keep the baby so obviously this has caused a lot of argues and pain as he is constantly telling me how selfish and other bad things I am. I still don’t regret my decision as I think it will be worth it once the baby is here (I’m only 4.5 months pregnant though). Either with or without the father, felt like I wanted to take this decision independently of the father. But I had the same feelings you mentioned, thought that I will forever regret and always think back. Good luck with your decision 🙂

[Liolint]

I’d advise you make a decision independent of the father. If you want the kid in your life, then I think you should keep it, looks like you’ll regret it if you don’t anyway.

[Ashley1985]

Thank you Maria and Liolint. My worry is if I keep it that I will be forever unhappy tied to a man who is problematic in a country with no family around(they live abroad). I am 31 and was hoping I can find a new man and start a family we want and not like this when there is so many issues and we are not certain we want it..but then what if this is a last chance to have a baby😞I still dont know what to do.

[con1]

I’ve messaged you but just to say that it cannot possibly be your last chance to have a baby at 31! You are a spring chicken!!  😀

[Author]

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