Should I force contact

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  • #49440 Report

    Popsjcz
    Participant

    My sons father left when he was 8wks old. He lives 20min walk away, at 1 years old he started making contact and would visit 1 days a week for a couple of hours this lasted for 2 months and then stopped . He clearly said that he wanted to focus on his other kids (he went back to his ex) .. she has now contacted me saying they want contact but she also is toxic and screams and shouts at me in public.. I have avoided seeing or having any contact for over a year. My son is now 2.. Should I contact him and see if he still wants to leave it or if he does want to make effort ? He has never paid child support…

    #49441 Report

    Lulublue
    Participant

    Personally I’d leave it. I know it’s hard trying to understand why a parent walks away! But you can’t force a parent to parent and you could cause nothing but heartache for you and you’re child…. he could feel forced into some kind of contact and then just disappear again. I’d leave the ball in his court.

    the other option is to write him a letter explaining while he choose to walk away, when he’s ready to have contact he can.  Letting him know the door is open, but not expecting it.  Don’t write anything that is forceful or expectant

    x

    #49448 Report

    Popsjcz
    Participant

    Thank you so much, like with everyone’s story there is so much more to this..

    His current partner is the one who has reached out after still being volatile towards me.

     

    I do write letters to my son when I question my decisions so he knows when he grows up that I have always had his best I interests at heart x

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