Should I change my surname?

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  • #40178 Report

    Rosie79
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m new here and wondered if anyone could advise me about the impact of reverting to a maiden name?
    im in the process of divorcing my husband  (due to his infidelity, his mental health issues and his abusive behaviour to me and the children). I really want to revert to my maiden name but hate that I will then have a different surname to my children. I do not feel it would be right to ask my children to change their surname (and my ex would never agree) and so I need to decide whether to proceed with this.

    i wondered whether anyone on here has had the same scenario? If you changed your name back – has it caused any issues?

    id be grateful for any words of wisdom.

    thank you

    R

    #40181 Report

    Megannn19
    Participant

    Hey Rosie,

    Much against EVERYONE’S advice, I changed my name by deed poll 6mths after I moved out of the family home we shared. My estranged husband and I are legally separated.
    In a similar situation, he was having an affair, concealing it and was rumbling on making ‘plans’ to leave me high and dry before he got caught out. After establishing that and a good deal of debt in his name, I felt used, played and utterly manipulated. Why would anyone want to retain the name of man who treated them so badly? No, I. So I sent for a ‘deed poll pack’.
    I think it cost me around £30. I signed, got a friend to counter sign and then it got sent away to be authorised. Didn’t take long at all. All banks, passport office etc accepted this as evidence of the change.

    My little girl still has her Dad’s surname. She occasionally asks to change it to mine. That’s the only problem I’ve encountered. I had initially explained to her that when mum’s and dad’s split, mum’s can go back to the name before they met their dad. With it being the same as her Nana, she seemed happy with that.

    My experience has been positive. And certainly help me move on.

    #40187 Report

    mummygaga
    Participant

    I changed my name after the divorce. My children already had my maiden name as middle names and were we’re ok with me changing mine. Apart from the hassle of having to inform all the organisations I deal with (banks etc), there’s been no problems.

    Some places don’t accept a straight forward copy of the deed poll and insisted it was certified by a solicitor but other than that it’s been fine.

    #40209 Report

    Rosie79
    Participant

    Thank you both so much for replying. I really appreciate it. Xx

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