Shared parenting – difference of opinion

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Shared parenting – difference of opinion

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #46491 Report

    Chinsters89
    Participant

    Good evening,

     

    I separated from my husband a little over a year ago and agreed he’d have our children (7yr old and 5yr old) 3 nights a week and I’d have them 4. He works every Saturday so his nights were Fri, Sun and Mon. This worked well for me (I work part time for now and he works full time – was 4 days a week at the time). He was in between houses over lockdown so I had the children for 90 nights with him seeing them for between 1-3hrs a week! I really struggled, they were playing up and id often have them crying at night for their dad.
    When my ex and his partner eventually got their new house, he had them for a few nights straight and then we went back to our routine. Not long after my ex asked for one Sunday a month off as he wanted a full day to himself. I ended up agreeing to it.
    He has now come up with a plan for next year whereby he has the children Sun-Tues to make it easier for everyone. Except once a month where he now wants a Sun and a Mon off.
    If I agree it works out that he’ll have them 10/28 days and I’ll have them 18/28. I completely understand that a lot of separated parents work on this kind of basis and they’re both happy with it but I have always wanted more of a balance and shared childcare (like how we started off).
    I originally said that switching his days to Sun-Tues would probably work most of the time but occasionally I would like a Friday off (and to switch it for the Tues). He refused due to a conversation we’d previously had where he felt like neither of us should do each other favours anymore (the majority of the time it has been me accommodating his needs so now I want to think about myself aswell as the kids. My two are happy with the routine we currently have but equally would be ok with the new routine too.
    Does anyone with experience know where I can go from here? In an ideal world I’d split the childcare 50/50. Failing that 3 nights a week for my ex and 4 for me and failing that I would still be ok with him having that one Sunday off a month.
    He said he won’t budge on his idea as it’s too perfect not to do it (maybe for him).

    Thanks if you got this far!

    #46495 Report

    warwickshire1
    Participant

    I think it is very reasonable for you to have a friday off now and again. How it is working at moment is slightly unfair for you as your children are at school all week and you never get any weekends to yourself whatsoever apart from a sunday night which isnt much use.

    It is good he is having them 10 nights out of 28  but you should be allowed your friday off and he certainly wouldnt be doing you a favor. Most dads if they were to have 10 nights have Fri – monday every other weekend ( 3 nights x 2) and a midweek where you pick children up from school ( 1 x4) which would be 10 in total .

    I would try and speak to him again and if no joy suggest mediation and say most mums split weekends 2 each with their childrens dads , u are just asking for 1 weekend.

     

    #46539 Report

    Home_Alone
    Participant

    Hi Chinster. Before my situation now I had complete 50/50 with my sons mother. We worked it over two weeks where week 1 would be 3 nights and week 2 would be 4 nights over a two week period it would be equal.

    Below may be helpful.

     

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>                                                 SHARED RESIDENCY AGREEMENT</span>

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>We, __________ and ____________, the parents of</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>_____________ enter into this Shared Residency Agreement.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>We as parents are committed to the spirit of shared residency, which recognises the child’s needs for a good and ongoing relationship with both parents, and which calls for shared parenting, with both parents involved in all matters related to the child.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>In order to better meet our parental responsibilities and to safeguard our child’s future development. We both recognize that our child’s wish to love and respect both of us regardless of our status or our place of residence, and that the welfare of our child can best be served by our mutual cooperation as parents in shared residency, and by each of us providing a home in which they are loved and to which they belong.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”> We also jointly recognize that court proceedings regarding children and custody and access matters can be detrimental to a child, and we therefore have decided to resolve these questions ourselves, using this Shared Residency Agreement.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”> Finally, we have chosen to avoid the traditional terminology surrounding separation and children by using terms that more accurately describe the reorganization of our former family to new homes or dual households. In the interests of clarity, when our child are with their mother, she will be referred to as the “resident” parent, and when our child are with their father, he will similarly be referred to as the “resident” parent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION A  Child-related Decision Making</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>1. </span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Daily / routine medical</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The parents shall continue to use the services of Doctor_____________________ and will be registered with a dentist at the earliest opportunity. The parents shall provide each other with the names, addresses and telephone numbers of all physicians, dentists or orthodontists providing care for the child.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) The resident parent is responsible for making day-to-day medical decisions (such as when to give over the counter medicines, keep the children home from school due to illness, see a doctor for a minor illness, etc).</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>2. </span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Major medical</span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”> (long-term medication/treatment, surgery, orthodontic work, etc)</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The parents shall notify each other of an emergency child visit to a doctor, specialist, and/or hospital. Both parents may attend.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) Each parent shall provide written permission to the child’s doctor to release information to the other parent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) The parents shall directly request any relevant records/information from the Doctors and not expect the other parent to provide such records or updates.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) Major medical decisions are usually infrequent. Since they are serious, it is in the child’s best interests for both parents to be involved in major medical decisions, with the assistance of the expert third parties, such as medical specialists, dentists etc. The parents shall notify each other of any potential major medical decisions as well as provide the other with the name and number of the attending doctor(s). It is ideal for the parents to consult with the doctor(s) together. However, if this is not possible, the parents may consult individually, adding second opinions as necessary. The parents shall arrive at major medical decisions mutually. If they cannot, they shall abide by the consensus medical opinion.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>3. </span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Religion</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>The parent shall educate and expose the child to the religious tradition in place prior to their separation, and in keeping with the child’s best interests. </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>4. </span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Education</span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”> (including school selection, remedial assistance, reports, parent/teacher meetings, etc)</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) It is in the child’s best interests if the parents attend parent teacher meetings together. In doing so, the child perceive that their parents are working together on their behalf. This may lessen the child’s loyalty bind and prevent</span> <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>any effort on their part to “play both ends against the middle”. If either parent prefers to have an individual meeting, each parent shall be responsible for arranging with the school his or her own parent teacher meeting. Any special meetings, involving board or school personnel (other than the teacher), are likely to require the parents to attend together, as time and resources usually do not allow for  separate meetings.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) Each parent is responsible for staying up to date on any relevant educational matters and requesting involvement for any special meetings about the children. Each parent shall request from the school that he or she is provided with all notices, reports etc. If the school cannot accommodate such requests, each parent will continue to notify the other of all school events at the time he or she learns of them. The residential parent who first obtains the child’s report shall provide the other parent with copies of them.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) It is in the child’s best interest for both parents to attend school related functions, such as open days, plays, concerts, fund raisers etc.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) Major decisions related to the child’s education include class placement, remedial assistance, enrichment, etc. Such decisions shall be made in consultation with relevant experts, including teachers, principals, school or independent psychologists, etc. It is ideal for the parents to consult with these professionals together. However, if this is not possible, the parents may consult individually, adding second opinions as necessary. The parents shall make educationally relevant decisions mutually, in consultation with the relevant expert, or experts, if there are different expert opinions. If the parents cannot agree, they will follow the dispute resolution mechanism outlined in paragraphs 11 to 15 below</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(e) The school shall have both parents’ names to call in case of emergency. Either parent can be called first. The contact parent shall notify the other parent as soon as possible.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>5. </span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Community, Athletic and Lessons</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) Each parent may enrol the child and/or participate in the activities chosen by the parent, providing that the activities do not overlap with the other parent’s time with the children. The parents shall consult and come to a mutual decision regarding extracurricular activities that overlap both parents’ time with the child. Neither parent shall enrol the child in activities that overlap with the other parent’s time without that parent’s consent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) The parents shall obtain schedules and other necessary information directly from the instructors or coaches of the activities.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) The parents may attend special events at school and extracurricular activities, such as fames, concerts, recitals, shows or performances.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION B:    </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>6.   </span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>The child’s time with both parents</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>The child shall continue to reside with both parents pursuant to the following alternating schedule</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Week 1</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) Monday afternoon (15.00-1530)-evening and night with Father who will take the child to School Tuesday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) Tuesday afternoon-evening-night with Mother who will take the child to school on Wednesday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) Wednesday afternoon (15.00-15.30)-evening and night with Father, who will take child to school Thursday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) Thursday afternoon (15.00-15.30)-evening-night with Mother who will take child to school Friday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(e) Friday afternoon (15.00-15.30)-evening to Sunday morning (09.00-09.15) with Father. Unless Father has no work on this day then until 15.30-16.00.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(f) Sunday morning-day-night with Mother who will take child school on Monday morning.</span>

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Week 2</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) Monday afternoon (15.00-15.30)- evening-night with father who will take child to school Tuesday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) Tuesday afternoon-evening-night with Mother who will take child to school Wednesday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) Wednesday afternoon 15.00 until 17.45 with father (Taikwondo Class), return to Mother who will have the child evening and night and take child school Thursday morning.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) Thursday afternoon-evening-night to Saturday morning (09.00-09.15) with Father</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(e) Saturday morning (09.00-09.15) with mother until Monday morning who will take the child school.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Drop off times may vary in the case of days off ect but will always be agreed first.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Half term holidays</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The child shall split the holidays between their parents, spending the first half with one parent, the second half with the other parent, and then alternating this arrangement on a year over year basis. </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Easter</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The children shall split this holiday between their parents on an annual rotation, spending Easter Sunday with one and Easter Monday with the other in one year, rotating the next year, and so on.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Birthdays</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The child(ren) shall spend mother’s birthday with mother, and father’s birthday with father.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) The Child(ren) shall alternate birthday eve-night-morning with both parents. Birthday parties will be shared and attended by both parents.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Father’s Day/Mother’s Day</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The children shall spend Mother’s Day with mother, and Father’s Day with father.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Summer Holiday</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The children shall spend two consecutive weeks with each parent in agreed location as long as all details are provided beforehand as stated in our travel document. Longer periods away can be agreed but not exceeding 20 days if both parents are willing.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) Each parent shall give the other (3) months notice of their summer holiday plans.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Christmas</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The child(ren) shall alternate Christmas eve, Christmas day and Boxing day with each parent. ie Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one. Christmas afternoon and Boxing day with the other. Swaping the next year.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Other Provisions</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The children’s relationship with their grandparents shall be encouraged by both parents.</span>

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION C: </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>7. The Child’s clothing and belongings</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) It is preferable for both parents to have adequate clothing for the children. The clothes the children have worn en route to time with the other parent shall be returned (washed or not) and placed in the children’s bag when they return to the other parent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) The children’s belongings belong to them. They shall have the option of taking toys, computer games, etc back and forth if they wish. They shall be encouraged to assume responsibility for these items by remembering to bring and return them as they desire.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) Major sporting items, dress clothes, and other expensive items shall travel back and forth with the children as they desire or upon the written request of the other parent. The items shall be promptly returned with the children. If an item is damaged or broken, the parent who had the item when the damage occurred shall be responsible for replacing the item. The children may also be expected to assume some responsibility as determined by the resident parent at the time.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION D: Communication</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>8. Telephone</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>The child(ren) may call the non-resident parent, whenever they wish. The parent may call the children whenever he or she wishes, with proper consideration given to meal times and bedtime. </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) On a weekly basis, mother shall telephone father, or vice versa, to communicate about the children’s weekly experience (including upsets, special events, etc). The children shall benefit knowing both parents are aware of these significant events. Also, the children shall be less likely to ”play both ends against the middle” when he knows his parents communicate regularly about him.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) The children shall not be asked by their parents to relay information from parent to parent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION E:</span><span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”> </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>9. Local / Weekend Travel</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) The phone number(s) of the child(rens) whereabouts when travelling away from either parent’s residence shall be provided in writing to the non-resident parent in case of emergency.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION F: </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>10. Flexibility, Changes</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>Changes to Schedule</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) Should the need arise, the parents shall communicate verbally and in writing as to a request(s) for a change to the usual or holiday schedule. They will do so with as much notice as possible. A verbal and written response shall be provided within 48 hours.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b) Each parent shall canvass changes to the schedule, first with the other and prior to mentioning anything to the children about a change and/or a special activity.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) If additional time is required due to a special event or celebration, notice shall be provided to the other parent when the need arises and/or two weeks in advance. A response shall be provided within 24 hours.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) As a rule, the parents shall not be entitled to make up time if they request a change. Notwithstanding this rule, make up time may be offered.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(e) If one parent cannot be available to care for the children, the other parent shall be given the “first right of refusal” to care for the children. If the other parent cannot accommodate the request, the resident parent shall be responsible for arranging alternative childcare.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(f) It is understood that traffic and inclement weather may cause delays. Notwithstanding, every effort (including allowing for more time when necessary) shall be made by the parents to be punctual in their delivery of the children to the other parent or to activities. If one parent cannot deliver the children within 15 minutes of the scheduled time, he or she shall notify the other parent when the need for delay arises.</span>

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION G: </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>11. Implementation and Impasse</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>All shared residency plans require revision over time as the parents’ and children’s’ needs change. Any aspect of the shared residency plan may be revised with the parents’ mutual consent. The parents shall monitor the schedule and the terms of the agreement in relation to the child’s adjustment.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SECTION H: </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: bold; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>12. Dispute Resolution Mechanism</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(a) When either parent has an issue that he or she wishes to resolve with the other parent, he or she will give the other parent notice of the need to discuss the problem by telephoning that parent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(b)  The parents agree that within seven (7) days of being called by the other parent about a problematic issue, that they will meet face to face, or as soon after as is reasonable and practical, to discuss the issue and see if they can resolve the conflict between themselves.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(c) If the parties alone cannot resolve the conflict, they agree that they shall refer the problematic issue to mediation with the mediator who will assist the parents in reaching a resolution. If the issue is not resolved during mediation, the parties may submit the matter to arbitration on consent.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>(d) While the dispute is being resolved either by mediation or arbitration, the resident parent will continue making such day to day decisions as are necessary, but will take no substantial action in the area of disagreement which would prejudice or take unfair advantage of the other parent by benefiting from their residential status.The parents accept and agree the  above  agreement and will honour and respect the spirit of the Shared Residency Agreement at all times.</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SIGNED ………………………………………………….. DATE …………………………………………………..</span>

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>SIGNED………………………………………………….. DATE …………………………………………………..</span>

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>   </span>

     

    <span style=”font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;”>                                                        Final revised copy  31/05/2017</span>

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)

Log in or register to reply to this thread

Log In Register