Shared custody and the holidays

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  theyogajeanie 6 months ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #28397 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    My ex and I have 50-50 custody of our two girls. The problem is that he is refusing to take time off over the summer to look after them, even though he just returned from a holiday in Thailand. He expects me to do all the childcare (or for me to leave the girls with his girlfriend, which I have an issue with because it’s his responsibility to care for his children) and use my annual leave, which is more than his admittedly, however I have saved it up for the six weeks.

    We have a court order in place saying it’s 50-50 custody. Does anyone know, legally, where I stand on this?

    thanks in advance.

    #28398 Report

    mongoose6000
    Participant

    Who he leaves the children with on his time of having them is upto him and the courts will also tell you that unless they are a drug user / alcho or an abuser its highly unlikely that you can stop him leaving them with her.

    Try getting to know her and see if she is ok?

    I dont think you can force him to take time off hun x

    #28400 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    So does that mean that it’s all up to me to sort out? That doesn’t seem in keeping with a 50/50 agreement?

    #28404 Report

    mongoose6000
    Participant

    Was it agreed when and what dates he would have the kids ? id stick to agreed set dates and its upto him to get his child care in place on his time x

    #28413 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    If he’s offered to have your daughters at his house, as long as there is a responsible adult there, he is fulfilling their needs.

    I know it’s difficult but I’d try your ex’s approach and see if your daughters are happy. Maybe a couple of days to begin with. The evenings off would be a good break for you too.

    If I was the girlfriend, I might not be very happy though. Does she have children of her own?

    #28455 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    Nothing was agreed- just that we would sort our holidays between ourselves. I knew I’d take the majority of it but had thought that it would be assumed he’d take some? As otherwise, it’s not a 50/50 arrangement.

    #28456 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    She’s quite a bit younger and doesn’t have children of her own. She is very good to take on the girls though and obviously adores them, which I admire. It’s his lack of responsibility that I have an issue with!

    #28500 Report

    theyogajeanie
    Participant

    I had asked him to have contact but he only agreed at times when it suited him. For example, this weekend he should have the girls, but is now refusing as he is attending the wedding of someone he doesn’t even know. I don’t pick and choose when I have them and if I could, I would have them much more than the 50% I now have. I don’t think that I’m being unreasonable.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

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