Shared care and maintenance

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by CotswoldDad.
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  • #32711 Report


    Hi everyone, interested to know if anyone has any previous experience with this please.

    My ex wife and I share care for our 2 boys and the time between us is almost identical with the exception of a Sunday night on my weekend where I have to drop the boys back to their Mum at her insistence, even though they come back to me after school the next day.  The split in a typical fortnight is therefore 6 nights with me and 8 nights with their Mum – were it not for the Sunday night drop off which I am enforced to do, it would be 7 nights each.  As a result I am also forced to pay maintenance.  This is in-spite of the fact that I earn less and have to provide everything for the boys when they’re with me, clothes, food etc.  all expenses (school trips for example) are also split.  If anything, I spend more time with the boys during the week as I have changed job and working pattern to be with them rather than use after and pre school clubs – where as their Mum has family and friends and uses clubs to support the boys.

    Personally, I feel like I’m being charged to relinquish time with the boys on a Sunday night, cutting short our weekend purely for the benefit of their Mum.  I totally agree that all parents should contribute but the CMS seems to be a blunt hammer that looks purely at nights spent in each home rather than the reality – any help, ideas, experience would be warmly welcomed.  Thank you.

    #32726 Report


    Why does your ex want the children returned on a Sunday night?  Is she making sure they are ready for the school week?  Ensuring homework is done? Bath night?

    Perhaps having been apart all weekend, she feel she needs to see them before she starts her working week.  That doesn’t sound unreasonable.  If Sunday night is important to her, could you not swap a different night in the week, making it equal?

    Well done for rearranging  work to allow more time with your boys, but how you ex provides wrap around care is up to her, as long as the children are safe and happy.



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