Shared care agreement and Corona virus

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  • #37861 Report

    zebra82
    Participant

    Hello,

    I have shared care with my ex husband of our two children. I’m just trying to work out what we might need to do it we need to isolate. None of us currently have any symptoms and the school is still currently open.

    We don’t have a very good relationship and communication is pretty broken down. The children are with me one half of the week and him the other. At the moment I am of the mindset that I will keep up to date with recommendations and act when told too. He seems more worried than me and as he is currently working from home and has volunteered to have them to avoid them getting it.

    I just wanted to see what other people are planning to do that are in a similar situation?  I thought if the school closed that we would carry on having them on our set days and isolate between the two houses. I think if one of us as parents should get it then the other person should take care of the children…..but would the children need to isolate as well??? He is suggesting that we split the children up if they were to become unwell and 1 of us care for each of them. Its just really stressful and the thought of my child being sick and not caring for them makes me feel sick to be honest!

    #37864 Report

    Cocothechick
    Participant

    Hey Zebra82, I’m in a similar situation with shared care of our son when we get sick. My ex is completely ignoring the situation with coronavirus which is baffling me and I am trying to put contingency plans in place . My plan was that if I get sick then my son has to go to his Dad’s or vice versa. I think your approach of following the guidelines and then if one of you get sick then the other looks after the kids is the right thing to do. Ultimately 80% of us are going to get this at some point and being in a separated relationship is actually better as it’s unlikely we’ll get sick the same time as out exes so childcare shouldn’t pose an issue. However if you’re really concerned about the kids being separated or away from you when they’re ill then state it now to him and agree a plan so it’s in black and white when the time comes. I’m in the process of doing this and it’s easier said than done!

    Can you discuss it with him over email or text rather than phone? I have to deal with mine through a spreadsheet as it’s the only way he can communicate!!

    #37890 Report

    TyaAsh
    Participant

    Following for advice.
    currently self isolating with daughter(3) luckily from what her dad said I am assuming he intends for her stay here during that period, what I’m worried about is after.. what would happen if she went to his and the Gov  initiated a lock down, he lives hours away and she doesn’t particularly like going up atm anyway, do you think they would let her come home?

    #37891 Report

    nats68
    Participant

    I’m worried about this too. My ex and I have a terrible relationship and my eldest (16 yr old) doesn’t see him. My youngest is 14 and adores his dad and the agreement is that he spends every other weekend with his dad (2-3 miles away). My concern is that my ex is a lorry driver and I presume will continue to work as long as possible as I don’t think he gets paid otherwise and he is also considered a key worker. I am worried that we are now staying at home to try to avoid the virus but if my youngest goes to his dads every other weekend, he could potentially pick it up from his dad while he’s there.
    I also have what I think is the start of a cold (no temperature or cough) and if it is the virus, it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to go to his dad and infect him as a carrier! He’s due to go to his dads on Friday 20th March. Trouble is, the relationship is so difficult that if I tell him my symptoms (by email/text as he won’t speak to me at all), I’m worried he won’t believe me, he is so distrustful of everything and everyone. I just don’t know what to do.

    im so anxious about the virus and all the repercussions, I’ve barely slept for the last few days and am scared stiff. Really hope someone has some good, helpful advice!

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