Seven years on and still strugging

[Brittvic75]

Hi everyone

I am new on here but needed somewhere to talk and to get some advice. Not sure how to get down in written word what I want to say so please bare with me. It is nearly seven years to the day that I became a single parent. My daughters were 4 and 2 when my husband walked out on us. Seven years on from that day and I am still struggling. I guess I have never really got over the split with who I thought was my soul mate. I work full time and I am struggling to juggle my job, ensuring the house is kept in a reasonable state whilst ensuring I give my daughters enough time. They are now 9 and 11 and although most of the time they are amazing their behaviour is sometimes challenging and I can get angry with them. It is at these times that I feel really down and feel like I am doing a rubbish job of raising them and miss having someone to talk it over with and share the responsibility with.

Not sure if any of that made sense but if it did, any advice would be welcome.

Thanks 🙂

[Sparky]

I hear you. This month has been hard for me for the same reasons and then a few more on top, I think the universe has a more twisted sense of humour than me at times lol. I know you feel rubbish when you lash out, we all do but I think as long as you’re talking to your girls and they know where it’s coming from, they’ll understand. Not fully, cos they’re kids and shouldn’t have to but I’ve given my daughter the ‘overview’ of what’s been going on so she knows it’s nothing she’s done. Some may say I’m a bit too open with her but I won’t hide the truth.

As far as the house is concerned, do what you must but try not to sweat it, that side of things is never ending. Do you all work together? I know kids hate chores but it’s a good way for them to learn and you are still spending time together, maybe pick a topic to talk about whilst folding washing or something?

Personally I think getting over what should/could have been is way harder than dealing with what’s in front of you, that I also get. No one can tell you the right way to deal with it, you can only do what you feel is best for you and when you’re ready, you will but in the short term it’ll hold you back. But one day at a time and be kind to yourself along the way. Feel free to PM me if it’ll help, even if it’s to complain about the amount dishes kids generate lol x

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