Sepetation help please

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  • #7897 Report

    Toffee
    Participant

    I have read through some advice on here. When going though a sepetation. And like most say… It takes time.

    A slow process.

    My problem is i am so hurt never felt pain like this.

    Lost so much wgt no confidence. Feel worthless to myself.  I feel like need to understand why… When he has said all those nice things and evan very close in all ways

    I feel used. As let my guard down for nothing.  How stupid was I. I want to stop thinking of him. But i just cannot. I put my job.  life. At risk.

    I need help please

     

    #7900 Report

    Billy01
    Participant

    Hi toffee,

    I am sorry as I can’t really offer advice as I am in a pretty similar situation myself and I cannot find a way through it.

    I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and feel free to message if you need to talk

    Billy

    #7909 Report

    Toffee
    Participant

    Hi billy ty for yr message. Its so hard as I love him so much. And we were struggling to live together. As love wasnt the issues. Constantly fell out over silly stuff and lack of communication.  Didn’t speak for weeks sometimes..

    I no we coukd no longer carry on like this.

    He made the break and I wanted to try. He had enough.

    So he got his own place and I managed to get an ongo home. Which not been in long.

    I just feel such a failure to him and myself.. Like I said we had met up a few times. And enjoyed each other. But it wasn’t enough for him. The nice things he said gave me hope. And I believed him

    I just dont no how to let go

    How do you stop the feelings of hurt and love.

    My kids didnt like him with all that went on.

    And I’ve never been on my own. Its very lonely

    #7911 Report

    Billy01
    Participant

    Honestly toffee, I have no idea how to stop those feelings! I suffer with that every day!

    Our relationship has been tough for a while as nobody realised that my partner had post natal depression and neither did we. I just thought she wasn’t being a good mum and as a result I had to leave work and become a full time dad even though she was in the house too which was pretty frustrating but now I feel like I failed her for that. Just before we realised that it was depression we split up and she moved out. I was hurt but I was okay with that until I realised that it was depression.

    We decided to take things slow from there so we stayed living separate but spent a lot of time together and then last year she fell pregnant again but unfortunately we lost our daughter in may and that sent us both back into depression. I hadn’t realised until it was too late that since then I have been pushing her away.

    I only found out about three weeks ago that it was completely over and she had moved on with my only friend. I chose to forgive her for that and said I still wanted to make it work but she just keeps blowing hot and cold. One day she loves me and the next she doesn’t. One day she wants me and the next she wants him. I’m just left here now with nobody except my son and I don’t know whether I’m coming or going

     

    #7914 Report

    Toffee
    Participant

    Wow mate must be really hard for u both. And yourself. Am no good for answers.

    But maybe try doing sonething for you. Friends gym socialising maybe. .But then it hard to make the effort.. But we only have one life. Do this for you

    And maybe she will see the positivity in you. And maybe rub off together

    #7917 Report

    Billy01
    Participant

    i don’t think anyone has the answers to our problems most of the time. We can offer help and support to eachother but it’s upto ourselves to find the answers.

    That’s one of the biggest things I am struggling with because I don’t have friends. I’m completely isolated and I’m desperate to join a gym but there’s only really Thursdays and Fridays that I could go and I really can’t afford a membership. I struggle to make ends meet as it is

    #7919 Report

    Toffee
    Participant

    Yes I agree we offer support to others. But not our selfs.

    What about a good power walk a couple of days a week. Get The frustration out. Least your doing something

    #7923 Report

    Billy01
    Participant

    I’m lucky that I live at the bottom of a hill/mountain so I’m going to try and get myself a new pair of running shoes and I’m going to push myself to run up that as much as I can and then work out at home.

    Do you get much done for yourself?

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

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