My partner of over 3 years split up with me last month. Saying he was unhappy and packed his things. I suffer with depression have done for many years now and can’t help but blame myself. I’ve tried to make it the easiest scenario, packing his things and making it easy for him to see our son. But feel like I’m being portrayed the bad person everythings an argument, or about child payments. When to be totally honest my minds a mess financially I’m screwed and i just feel its inconsiderate when he knows my situation.
Well, that’s how separations often go – almost none are amicable are agreed upon in whole by both parties. It will take time, and he can moan, but it will come down to you being a good mother, which of course you want to be and are. Keep doing that, be strong, and, though the relationship is probably over full stop, it doesn’t mean things will always be painful or argumentative.
My separation was far from amicable but I learnt to keep any contact with my ex to a minimum and even went through the Child Maintenance Service so that I would not have to ask him for money for my Son and so avoid any arguments about payments. He knows how much he has to pay and I know how much I am going to receive. They will work it all out for you and act as intermediaries for you both. A family based arrangement will be set up and he will make his payments to you directly via bank transfer. If he misses or does not pay the correct amount the the CMS will contact him to sort it out.
It really does take a lot of hassle out of the financial side of things when you have a child to support and you split up.
Thanks everyone for your support, i feel like the child maintenance money is the least of my worries though. Its more the fact i can’t get over my feelings, also that i feel like I’m the one being the parent while he can go to work, do a course go out but he can also get the title of being a parent just because he pays money. I’d love if my ex seen our son more but everything else is more important. The sides to him that I’m seeing I’ve never seen before sometimes I’m a good mum and other times I’m being told i need to get a job and put our child in nursery. I feel like my ex doesn’t understand the situation I’m in at all. Childcare cost money, while having a one year old and no support network I’d struggle to get a job if no one would mind my son while i have a job interview or maybe if i could even find a job that was covered by childcare hours. Argh the stress. His family have all blocked me.. although i have done nothing wrong to them I’d understand if i cheated or whatever but he was the one that left me when i needed him the most. So much for support ay