Seperated, Single Mum, Scared to death

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  BluebirdSue 6 days, 14 hours ago.

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  • #33619 Report

    Jenny Gill
    Participant

    Hi

    My name is Jenny and i am a mum of 2 aged 4 and 7. My husband is Army and has told me he no longer loves me, this all happened in July really, but after being strung along twice in the past few months trying to re-kindle our marriage he has decided to say it is final and we are over. I am completely devastated and an emotional wreck. Having grown up as a forces child and then marrying a serving soldier i have no roots to go to. I am now deciding where to live, i went to the Job Centre today and sort out Universal Credit which is getting sorted and i have my first payment in January.

    Only thing is i am in a married accommodation till 06 March 2020 when me and my kids need to vacate, i got a letter today to state that i have 93 days its a standard Army procedure. So at the moment i am not paying rent it all comes out of his pay packet. I need to now find a home for me and my 2 children. I am looking at private rental in Lincolnshire where my grandparents are , brother is serving in the RAF there and my cousin in the Army there. I’ve been told private rent is a lot easier and simple!!??

    I am literally scared to death, i just want the best for me and my children. I worry about my social life and that (not that i am ready in anyway yet) meet someone else new, who wants a single mum of 2 that is what goes through my head. I always think is there something wrong with me, why has he fallen out of love with me!.

    Is there anyone who has been an Army wife on here that can help or give me advice on how to get through this? Of course anyone else is more than welcome say what they did and share their stories. I literally see no light at the end of the tunnel it just gets darker and darker. My husband has said he will stand my me all the way and the kids and won’t leave me high and dry…. how long will he keep that up. He just isn’t the amazing man i married, i personally think his head has turned at someone else.

    Jenny x

    #33622 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    Hi Jenny,

    Sorry to hear about your husband’s decision and completely understandable what is in your head.

    I have had this feeling too, I thought the world ends for me and no one’s want to be with single father!

    I could  pull myself  when I realized that I have a son and I must be strong just because of him, I must be strong because I am living because I’m breathing…

    Why I have to be sad because she left!! Why exactly?!!

    I want to add , I was scared!

    Due to I saw myself in this long way without any support to rise my son.

    I have gone through this and I’m sure you can do it after a while.

    Best of luck

     

    #33684 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    Hi there

    I hope your husband will stick to his word and help you through this transition.

    I would move in Lincolnshire where you know some people and who may offer some support.

    Private renting is not scary as I have done this for the last 12 years (same property). Yes it involves a bit of form filling and a deposit but I never found myself in arrears or anything like that. I even managed to make that transition between a SAHM to working part-time. That took a lot of money juggling too.

    I would start looking and trying to save for a deposit right now.

    I think a lot of us single parents put ourselves on the dating scrapheap but we have so much to offer. When my mum and stepdad got together he was a father of 4 teenage lads and my mum had me and my sister and a grandson. It didn’t stop them getting married! 😂

    You deserve better than a guy who treats you like this

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