Seperated an don’t have any money

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  • #43978 Report


    Hi everyone, I’ve recently seperated after finding out my wife of 14 years had been in contact with another man. I struggled coming to terms an moved out into a relatives house as its a toxic environment. 


    Problem is she is now claiming benefits an expects her maintenance an half of the mortgage being paid, as she’s said I’ve abandoned the family home. Anyway my problem is she wants the house until my youngest of 1 is turning 18. Now if I pay out child maintenance and half the mortgage, that leaves me with nothing to be able to put a roof over my own head. Is this a standard thing to happen to someone like myself or am I right in thinking this can’t be my life for the next 17 years of sleeping on a sofa?


    O an the guy she had spoke to starting going into our family home 3 days after I left so I’m assuming they’ve finally got together.. I just don’t see how it’s fair that I’m being punished for something I didn’t do. Thank you everybody

    #44031 Report



    I’ve never wrote on chat rooms before so I hope this is helpful.

    I would definitely suggest to research the mortgage payments, Regardless of who left the house or why, it should be up to the each parent to keep a roof over their own head. I dont want to have to say this (an im sorry because I think it will hurt, but…) if your sure the relationship is dead then it maybe worth your while to look at selling the house and splitting the amount. (Or she could buy you out) its not your responsibility to pay her housing cost indefinitely.

    Maintenance is for your children not your ex, so that’s not so bad really, it means you know the kids have the money for food, school and clothes, and if needed she can put it to the housing costs.

    My ex told me he was leaving after setting things up with another women. I left the house instead!

    its not easy and is different for everyone. In the end I offered to pay half the rent for him till he found somewhere else. He still pays maintenance, but im flexible with it.

    All I can really say is things will settle down. Just keep a straight head and don’t act on anger.

    Good luck

    #44079 Report


    Thank you for your input, I totally understand the maintenance payments, but to pay half the mortgage is beyond a joke considering, I need to get my own life in order an rebuild a future with a roof over my head an stability for the children when I see them. I’d like to just sell the property an an take my share an set up alone. I believe she is going to use the fact my son is only turned 1, meaning she doesn’t want to go back to work or technically she doesn’t have to until his 4 years old, I have no idea. She also expects me to pay half towards repairs going wrong in the house as well. I just want my own life now but she says I should be doing all this as well as fund my own life. I just can’t go on like this.

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