Seperate households/child access over christmas due to tier 4 covid
20 December 2020 at 10:10 pm #47130
We are now tier 4 and my ex would normally see my sons (13 & 16) on Boxing day, however I have concerns. He is bullying me by saying I have to let them go under the split household guidelines but I am not happy about this as he will also have his mother in law staying there saying she is their ‘child care bubble’. Firstly, I didn’t think that two bubbles could mix and secondly, this would mean mixing a total of 3 households. (he has three other young school kids) I am on my own and if I was to be ill I would have no support as my parents are in the category of ‘extremely clinically vulnerable’. As the main carer do I have the right to do what I think is best for the boys or can he override this as he has parental responsibility (which is a joke!) he is threatening me saying he has ‘taken advice’ which I take as being legal judging by his actions in the past. My son’s have been schooling from home since 14th December and I don’t want to expose them to an unncessary risk. I have told him he isn’t being reasonable and everyone has to consider changes this christmas. Prior to this recent tier change the arrangement is that he sees them every other weekend, although he can go for weeks without seeing my eldest son.20 December 2020 at 11:24 pm #47131
He’s not bullying you. He’s right in what he’s saying. He is allowed access as previously agreed before the new tier system came into play. x20 December 2020 at 11:34 pm #47132
His tone is aggressive and unreasonable that’s why I used the words bullying but my argument is mixing my kids, which have been kept safe, with a third household which I’m not at all happy about. Without this I realise I’d have little choice, although other articles and advice say otherwise in this current situation and me, as main carer, wanting my children to stay safe21 December 2020 at 7:15 am #47135
Sorry but he does have the right to see his children but I’m not sure about his mother in law also – is she alone and are they her support bubble ? I thinknits a grey area. Could you perhaps ask them to get tested ? To put your mind at rest and also to avoid conflict – if they get tested and you and your kids get tested then u all know its as safe as possible.21 December 2020 at 7:36 am #47136
Can my daughter see her dad as we are in tier 4. Will he need to take her to school when school term is finished or is she allowed to came back to me before that.21 December 2020 at 7:37 am #47137
Dad is entitled to see his children21 December 2020 at 7:44 am #47139
As I said, I’m not debating his right to see his sons. It’s the additional increased risk of him mixing them with a third household when, if it wasn’t for the split parent lung guidelines, would not happen as were not allowed to mix with any other households in tier 4 so don’t see how three is acceptable. There isn’t enough time to get tested, mine and my sons were ‘lost’ from last week and I doubt he would agree anyway21 December 2020 at 8:23 am #47141
I totally understand where you’re coming from. There’s no disagreement on your children seeing there dad but the heightened risk while they are with him.
I have been so careful since March but their dad is more ‘relaxed’ about following guidelines (eg gone out when isolating and been on a few holidays during pandemic). What he does is his business but with this going on it’s so hard feeling like I’m putting my children at risk at handover.
I have no suggestions with it being such a grey area but wanted to show some support. Good luck x21 December 2020 at 12:36 pm #47155
Thank you so much for your words of support, it’s a difficult, unknown and challenging time for everyone. There has to be some understanding from all involved rather than him sticking rigidly to one rule. The safety of my sons (and myself as the only main carer) is my only concern. I hope you are able to resolve your own arrangements too