Separation Mess!

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  • #33966 Report


    I’m newly separated (2 weeks) & really going through it. I’m hoping someone on here had a similar situation and I would be interested to see how it worked out! I still live with my Ex and it’s unbearable (no abuse); as he doesn’t love me anymore. But on the practical side my situation is this:

    I’m unemployed (recently got made redundant)!

    we are not married

    we have 2 children (5 &3)

    we own our property & I’m on the deeds

    If I sell now I would loose everything, as I will need to claim benefits. He has a legal right to be here also and is not going anywhere! It’s not a healthy environment and I feel is prolonging agony and adjustment for the children. I feel utterly powerless and he also hasn’t agreed to me having the kids live with me; which is putting the fear of god in me. This limbo is insufferable… any advice or experience would be gratefully received!



    #33975 Report


    I was in the same situation but without being on the house deeds.

    The key to it all is to get back into employment. Use this time to get the job applications out and save a flat deposit. Once you have an income, you can find somewhere better to live and build a new life.

    As for custody, you are both entitled to 50%. I found my ex wasn’t prepared to rearrange his work around school run so he dropped the claim to 50% almost immediately.

    Work through each thing calmly & make your plans. Yes the short term won’t be much fun (I hated it) but it can work. x


    #33994 Report


    Thank You so much for your reply.

    I am not sure how I will work when I am a single parent as it’s hard enough finding a job around the school runs. Plus my 3 year old is only in preschool 15 hours. I am not lazy and I am more than happy to work. But it’s tricky as I don’t know where I will be living and I will be worse off. I feel it’s a catch 22. I will still look into it though x

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