18 February 2020 at 9:46 pm #36853
Hi – I just felt like I needed. To reach out for som help and advice regarding separation. My family and friend have been great but none are going through and feeling the way I do about my current situation , I hate the fact that I feel like I’m self pitying on my myself , I feel weak and completely lost and I don’t know how I can stop the negative thoughts – I felt like sharing this thread may at leat help me to understand how others who have gone through similar got through
so my partner and I had been together 16 years and have 2 wonderful kids aged 10 and 6 – we got together when we were 20 and our relationship and always been mainly up but with some challenging elements as well – over the years my partner has left me a couple of times (prior to us having kids) and asked me to come back to her after set times / things happening in her life – I always went back because I’ve loved her deeply since the day I met her.
im October last year she told me she was involved emotionally with a colleague from her work – who is married with children and another unborn on the way – she told me how she’d been unhappy in our relationship for sometime and that she’s found a connection with this man but that he’d decided to end the interactions as he wanted to stay with his wife – I agreed to that my partner and I would work to fix our relationship however since October it has been a very one way deal with not a huge amount coming back from my partner. Just after new year my partner finally decided to end our relationship , she told me she no longer loved me, found me attractive and hadn’t for a number of years – this has killed me, I was already weak after October but this has topped me off. At the time of ending my partner had told me no one else was involved but since our split I have found and seen a number of things that made me question this and on valentines day I found a card from the same man thanking my ex for agreeing to begin a journey with him and for letting him into her heart, my ex has denied anything is going on and told me the journey he refers to is a journey of friendship. I’m so deeply hurt – I feel I have lost everything and truly want to focus my energy on my kids but I can’t stop thinking about my ex and this man, I picture there future and think about how I have just been replaced and put on the scrap heap – I feel second best and can’t understand how my ex can have felt so little for me to have decided to do this to me, now I just wait for the inevitable unveiling of there new relationship
how do I get through these feelings – I feel so weak so broken and so lost – I gave everything to this women for 16 years and I ended up in her words her safety net – how do I move on from this? I just need some advice on how to get through and if it gets easier ? The sad thing is, if my ex said so I’d take her back tomorrow23 February 2020 at 10:20 pm #37028
This is heartbreak and it is one of the worst feelings in the world – look at all those sad love songs that have topped the charts!! However pining away isn’t going to bring your Ex back and wont make you feel any better. We all do it – but why!! Anyway allow yourself to wallow for a while BUT as soon as you are ready, you do need to begin doing things that will make you start to feel better.
How about plan some really fun outings with the boys. Take lots of pics and post about what a fun time you are having. Look up old friends and plan a night out – again post about the outings. Show the world that you are nobody’s safety net!! Pick up old hobbies or start new ones . I run read and ‘write’ ( a very self indulgent family blog’ ) because they are all free and flexible. BUT they can also get you out of the house – run clubs in partic are everywhere.
best wishes – you can do this!! beck