Separating with a toddler and I have no income

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  • #27478 Report


    Hi everyone, I’m new to the forum and really hoping I can get some advice and support from fellow single parents.

    I’m currently separating from my partner and I’m struggling to cope with everything. After my little one was born we decided it’d be best if I didn’t return to work. Solely because childcare was so expensive and the majority of my wage would pay for it. So it would almost have meant me working to pay for someone else to look after my child. My partner also wanted me to move in with him, which I agreed too. I rented out my house and moved further away, in with him.

    Anyhow, a year and a half has passed and my partner doesn’t think I’m the one for him. So after much heartache, mainly from me –  I obviously need to walk away. However, my tenants have pretty much redone my whole house (I allowed it) and completely settled in. There a much older couple and have been through a tough time and wanted a nice house to rent, somewhere they could call home. I’ve also really settled into the area I’ve moved into and would love to stay round here, as the schools are better too. However, this is where I’m stuck… I’m currently not working, although I did set up my own business 1 month ago, but I think I’m going to have to knock that on the head now! And as a I have a mortgage, I’m not entirely sure how much help I would be entitled too -financially.

    So my questions are –

    Will it be best for me to work full time or part time?

    Would be best to sell my property and no longer have the mortgage and just rent – or keep the tenants on and rent somewhere myself?

    I’m really hoping someone has perhaps been through something similar or knows of anyone that has. I should also note that whilst pregnant with my little one, I suffered a lot of depression and anxiety and it took a lot of work to pull me out of it. So at the moment my anxiety levels are through the roof as I’m just worried I’ll let my mind get the better of me.

    El xx


    #27482 Report

    Hi MummyElle,

    Thanks for posting your question and welcome to the forum!

    There’s a lot to consider when you first separate and I’m sure the parents on here will be happy to share their experiences and offer support to you. You can also contact the free Gingerbread helpline on 0808 802 0925 to speak to one of our advisers about your options and the financial help you may be entitled to.


    #27514 Report


    Hi Elle

    Although it’s not going to be easy, I would get back to your own home for security and return to work. Try and find a local school with breakfast and tea time clubs available as your child gets older. Working and child tax credits should help with your mortgage enabling you to work less hours whilst your child is young and help topnuo your salary.

    However, don’t forget your partner has an equal duty to pay maintenance towards your child’s needs and living expenses.  So you need to obtain a family court order for maintenance also.

    Good luck. I hope you find happiness with your child for your future together.

    #27552 Report


    Hi El,

    I had a similar situation where me and my husband split and I have a toddler, work part time and have a mortgage.

    My first point of call was to go to Citizens Advice and ask them what help I could get and how do I get it. They were very helpful. You could also ask them about whether to rent/sell/etc.

    In the short term for financial help, and to take a weight off your shoulders about being able to be financially secure – this is what I applied for:

    – Universal credit (which covers help for me and help for childcare (salary dependant)

    – single person council tax discount or council tax reduction scheme (depending how much you earn/plan to earn)

    – child maintenance from my child’s father (amount is dependant on his salary)


    Hope that is some help,



    #27605 Report


    Hello El

    It is sweet that you are thinking of your tenants but you are most likely to want your house back.

    I would say working part time is better but what you can claim will be different as you have a mortgage. It is possible to claim the interest amount.

    Also ask the dad what he can do to help 😀 good luck

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