Separating from toxic husband – support needed!

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  BluebirdSue 6 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #23034 Report

    Lilabee
    Participant

    I have been stuck in a emotional whirlwind rollercoaster of a relationship.  My husband has had issues with addiction although refuses to admit it.  He is a problem gambler.  He has been lying and hiding his gambling.  We have not been making it through the month with two children to worry about.  I have found out that although he was trying to make me feel like I was crazy – gaslighting me constantly, emotional abusive.  I have found out he has even been lying about how much he earns.

    Its been years of this, I owe it to myself and my children to get out and make a good life for us.  But I am scared.  I am not the breadwinner and not financially independant.  Have other moms out there done it and can you give me any advice?

    #23150 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hiya,

    I know you’ve asked for advice from mums so please excuse me for butting in.

    There are various organisations that can help people in your position so the first thing I would advise is to give the gingerbread team a call, they will definitely be able to point you in the right direction. Other than that keep posting, keep talking on the forums and you’ll find on time a great resource for help.

    Mark

    #23224 Report

    Hi Lilabee,

    I’m one of the forum moderators at Gingerbread. Sorry to hear you’re going through this difficult time. I hope you find the support you need on our forum.

    As the poster above suggested, you can also call the Gingerbread helpline for free and confidential support around conflict, separation and your financial situation:

    Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours: Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10 – 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4

    They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered.

    #23249 Report

    YMwsPws
    Participant

    Women’s Aid and Rights of Women both have helpline that are useful. Details on their websites. Quite difficult to get through especially Rights of Women. See if you have a local Women’s refuge, sometimes they do outreach work to support people in situations like yours.

     

    Citizens Advice Bureau is also a good source of help. They can help You find out if you are eligible for tax credits and other help. Tax credits have been a lifesaver for me – would really struggle without them so worth checking out.

     

    Gingerbread helpline also really helpful.

     

    Good luck

    #23264 Report

    Bka
    Participant

    Hey!

    Im in similar situation to you. About to go through separation after finally finding strength to say I wanted out. However, I have no income (I’ve been at home with children) and so no idea how to move forward. For stability for my kids, I’d love to be able to stay in family home but no idea if it’s possible? So much to sort.

    #23278 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    Hello

    I’ve gone from homemaker (couldn’t go back to job I loved) to living with my mum to finally getting my own place (using savings) and then after 8 years I got a part time job. Nearly 5 years on I’ve managed to keep the job and boy has it been difficult at times! Still single with a 12 year old and I have good and bad days.

    Anyway I’m rambling again. Being with an addict is hard no matter what their poison is. But you have realised you don’t have to live with it. And why should you? You deserve so much better. You can get a job and a house and sort out all the finer details yourself. I would look for both at the same time. Part time or full time you will still be able to support yourself and the kids. Just make sure you phone HM revenue and get every single penny of benefits that you are entitled to. That is what they are for to help people like yourself. You can do all of these things. Good luck! 😀

     

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