Separating.. don’t know where to begin 😔

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  • #23550 Report


    Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice if that’s ok?

    I’ve been with my husband for 23 years, we have 3 teenage children.

    We have decided to separate for various reasons although truth be told it’s me more than him that wants it to happen.  The trouble is I don’t knownwheee to start.

    we bought out home 3 years ago.  The mortgage is high as my husband has bad credit.  He has no savings at all and now says he needs to stay here whilst he saves for a deposit on a place I go to.

    I work full time and have savings of about £600.  I can’t take over my mortgage payment and everything else on my basic salary and I can’t put a claim in to help me whilst he’s still here.

    He cant pay the mortgage and get the money together to move out.

    We started off with an amicable split and we’re gradually descending into absolute chaos, the tension is unbearable.

    I just don’t know what to do.  I’ve thought about a loan to consolidate a few things like my car and credit card payments and take a bit extra to help him leave as my credit is good but then I worry I’ll be stuck with a bad credit mortgage and a loan as I might not be able to get a remortgage with a recent loan on my file.

    im in a catch 22.  I just don’t know where to start 😔


    #23568 Report


    Can you go interest only on the mortgage for three months. That might save £150 a month.

    Look at groceries. Swap from brands to supermarket’s own. That saved me £100 a month.  Stop takeaways and coffees out. Take packed lunches to work. Your children  are old enough to tell them what is happening and why the economies. Ask them for ideas.

    Cancel gym membership, window cleaner, & Sky. Wash your own car. Cut back everywhere you can.

    Make sure your husband is making as much of a sacrifice as you are.  Make it clear it is in his interests.

    It’s a bit grim in the short term but the end result will be worth it. Good luck.

    #23576 Report


    I’m already quite frugal as it is.  My husband has never been very good with money.

    My credit is quite good.  I’d like to try remortgage to a lower rate, it’s a bit high at the moment As his credit isn’t great.

    i thought about taking a loan to pay of my car pcp and credit cards etc and taking a little to help but then I might struggle to remortgage and get the payments down.


    Vicious circle.  I’m a bit overwhelmed

    #23579 Report


    Getting a lower mortgage rate would be good but I’d try to avoid taking out any extra loans if you can. Have you checked your utility accounts? If you pay by direct debit, sometimes they can be quite a lot in credit, and you are entitled to ask for it back.

    Also have a sweep through the house over Easter and see if you have anything you can eBay. It’s a good thing to do anyway if you are planning to move. Clean up out-grown bikes and games consoles. Hobby kit too.

    Can your husband get a weekend bar job for a few months, to earn a bit extra?

    #23590 Report


    I don’t think he will.  He’s already being difficult. I think he thinks I’ll vhange my mind

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