Separating and not financially well off! How do I begin?

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  • #38751 Report


    Hi, I found this group today as I was looking for information on how to go about a separation. My husband and I have been together for 10 years married for 8, and we have two kids 7 and 5. But we’ve not been happy together for a long time now. He’s had an affair twice with the same woman, about 4 years ago and I think for me ever since then we’ve had our ups and downs. I’ve now reached the stage where I don’t think I have it in me to deal with his tantrums, his emotional abuse and just everything about him. I feel like I don’t want to keep living in fear of him throwing a temper tantrum or listen to him screaming anymore (It has no affect on me anymore most times). We can’t see eye to eye with anything.

    Yesterday we decided on text messages from one room to another, that we are probably gonna be happier apart. I feel like I’ve tried before but can’t anymore. My biggest reason for trying before and if I have to try again now too, is only cos I’m not financially well off. I have been working a full time job for the past 9 months, but only get paid about £1100 approximately.

    We also bought a house last year. My name is on the mortgage but I dont pay towards the mortgage payments. I didn’t pay towards the down payment either. I also took a personal loan on my name recently to pay off my husbands credit card loans. I do not pay towards this personal loan either. But the mortgage and this loan are both on my name.

    This is the third country, we’ve lived in since we’ve been together, so don’t have any family even within a 1000 mile radius. If I move out I need to rent somewhere else, but how do I even find another house with my low monthly income. A 1 bedroom flat in my area is probably about £700. I would prefer to live in this area so I don’t have to change schools for the kids. I don’t know where or how to start going about this.

    Oh and counselling is not something that I’m looking at going. As the last time I suggested it to my husband, it ended up being just me going to counselling and it may have helped me a little to help me deal witb his affair, but I didn’t feel like I gained too much from it.

    #38999 Report


    Hi there

    I am in a similar situation as you. If you feel like having a chat please do so.

    #39015 Report


    Hi I am in the same situation

    you will be able to receive universal credits and from what I understood from my chats with Gingerbread is that they will ignore any assets for 6 months this will give you time to get legal proceedings in place after that you should have some support from your ex/ some money from assets or will be entitled to credits to support you. I would say speak to an adviser ASAP to get clarity. Good luck

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