Separated with a 4month old?

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  • #59820 Report

    Lulu989
    Participant

    Hi,

    My partner recently broke up with me. We are still living in the house we own together for now but in different rooms. We have a 4 month old baby. He has said he wants us to decide on a routine for when he can look after the baby. Has anyone got any experience with this? I have no idea what to even suggest. At the moment I do all day every day and bed time every night whilst he goes out and does what ever he pleases!

    #59866 Report

    cncoffee
    Participant

    @Lulu989 Did you just say 4 months old and he does what ever he pleases? that is pathetic….Who does that??? He sure deserves to be talked at….How many kids do you have already….Just keep doing what you think is needful and what as events unfold.

    #59907 Report

    Gingerbread Alex
    Moderator

    Hi Lulu989,

    I’m one of the forum moderators. Hopefully other single parents will share their experiences and suggestions, but in the meantime you might also find it useful to have a look at this CAFCASS Parenting Plan:

    https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-together/parenting-plan/

    Best wishes,

    Alex

     

    #59934 Report

    Dpsebast
    Participant

    If your doing everything now and living in the same house, I can’t see him doing much when living separately. Sorry to hear what’s going on especially with such a young one.

    #59935 Report

    Lulu989
    Participant

    Yes 4 moths. He says he’s avoiding being here because he doesn’t want it to get awkward and I need to come up with a timetable of when he can see the baby (and expects me to be out of the house during this time). This is our first baby together. Things were absolutely great before. We bought our house in October. Engaged in December and just finished extended our home when our baby was born and now he is saying he hasn’t been happy for a long time. News to me

    #59988 Report

    cncoffee
    Participant

    @Lulu989….This is so sad, I advice you strong share all the love you got to that little one cos the Baby needs all of the love they can get and leave him to keep staying unhappy I can assure you that he would come to terms sooner than you can imagine.

    Cheers.

    #60073 Report

    CA21
    Participant

    @lulu989 I am in a very similar position to you. My baby was born in February & my partner left 4 months later because he wasn’t happy! A few months on I have really focused my energy on on & my baby and day to day prioritised what is best for me to be the best mum to my son. I have dictated the plan for visitations for my ex and it is around my life & what is right for our baby. Fire away any questions as I may be a few months ahead of you ☺️

    #61580 Report

    Anon87
    Participant

    OMG @lulu989 your situation is the mirror of mine!
    5 month old baby, husband wants me out the house when he has him, but goes here there and everywhere. At work all day and gym all night – literally has 30-40 mins a day with our son, but has to eat and shower in the time 😕

    it’s heartbreaking!

    #61618 Report

    HunterReign
    Participant

    Very similar situation to mine but Husband left when our first little baby was only 2 months old so my heart really goes out to you.
    that kind of overnight change in behaviour “I’ve not been happy for ages” claims screams maybe there is a third party influence. That certainly turned out to be true in my situation so I kicked him out.

    is there anywhere else he could stay ? I agree with previous you dictate these times etc and no you don’t have to leave the house just use another room perhaps.

    focus on your darling little one time really does help !

    #61619 Report

    ReeceAlan
    Participant

    Im sorry

     

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