Separated with 3yr old and mortgage

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Kellyjay 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #32593 Report

    Webby553
    Participant

    Hi everyone, just joined as could do with sharing my story. Started seeing my ex partner at 14, 13 yrs down the line after having our beautiful daughter who is now 3 and buying a house, she decided I no longer made her happy so I moved out in July 19 and even now though I see plenty of my daughter I feel my life has just unravelled and miss my old life so much. We are now getting down to the maintenance side of things ie. money, routines of when I have her and when her mum does. If anyone can help me with advise as to what my responsibilities are i would be grateful. Thanks Luke

    #32595 Report

    Kellyjay
    Participant

    Hello ☺.

    I was with my ex since 14 till 33. I snapped.

    Iv had no support during of after separating. Not a penny and only just having kids regually every two weeks and me getting rid of negativity by going no contact.

    But I would have been over the moon with 50/50 custody and share on school clothes, trips, put too for big presents if wanted at birthdays and Christmas instead of two lots.

    If invited to party’s whoever had child at time to accept decline invite and buy present.

    School/teacher contact using own email adresses to be in the loop.

    I’d understand we both had to pay for our houses and buy kids clothes for each of our houses 1. To get wear out of them and 2. No packing bags ☺ Perfect.

    #32596 Report

    Webby553
    Participant

     

    <span style=”-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; caret-color: #313131; color: #313131; font-family: -apple-system, HelveticaNeue; word-spacing: 1px;”>Sound the last bits sounds very amicable which is how I thought it would be for us but already there is an atmosphere between us mostly about financial things as we have a big mortgage and until the house sells I am still paying all the bills whilst living back with my parents. My concern is if I don’t carry on have Evie as much as I am now although I want to the nursery and ex are saying the routine we have isn’t working for Evie and needs to change, will I be paying massive rates of maintenance and do I have to pay anything towards her and her mothers housing situation once the property is sold. Thanks for the reply, nice to hear from others to realise I’m far from alone.</span>

    #32597 Report

    Kellyjay
    Participant

    You are far from alone ☺.

    It’s much easier to get sorted straight away.

    You want your daughter as much as possible.

    You should really be paying 50/50 on mortgage until sold as you made a promise but state that.

    She can buy her house. You can buy yours.

    I would not be paying a penny if 50/50 custody, obviously as I said before about school stuff to share or trips etc.

    Be fair, don’t wait like me as it never came right or fair. I could do it all started a new business and he would man up and show me he could he didn’t he let me do it all and tried to drag me down when he had chance. Not good.

    So my advice to you is don’t let your emotions, feeling sorry or guilty make you be a push over.

    Get strong, get focussed, enjoy your little girl show her what you are made of fair, respectful, fun because in a blink of an eye she will be a women ☺ and hopefully a strong Independant one that has her very own Hero called Dad x

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