Hi all, my first post on here today, having separated from my girlfriend of 7years and a baby of 15 month old.
The reason we split up is that I went through depression once our girl was born and wasn’t very supportive. Which my girlfriend couldn’t cope with me how I was, now she didn’t know I had depression because I wasn’t able to accept this st the time and ask for help and i tried to push on through thinking everything will be fine. Since we’ve been apart I’ve seen been counciling for help which they have advised that I had post natel depression. Still working through it.
We was getting on okay upto Christmas, and over the Christmas period it was pretty much amazing. She said things to me I thought I’d never hear again. But ultimately I know there’s alot of trust issues for her in believing i won’t drop back into my old ways if we was going to give it another go.
Over Christmas I stayed over 2nights and things were great, but after Christmas her walls went back up and she said things need to be taken slowly. But sometimes I struggle with that and search for answers more than I should and put too much pressure on us, now to the point we aren’t really communicating. We do communicate about our daughter and thats about it. I really fear that I’ve pushed her away this time, I’ve never been through anything like this before and hoping someone can offer some good advice.
my advice would be to tell her what you’ve told us. Be totally honest about it all. Say you are seeking help, agree to taking it slow – you need to too as you’ve been through so much. Take it a day at a time.
i know what you mean, I always want a quick fix and the more I push the worse it gets. I’m learning to step back and let time help with some of the healing. You both need to be kind to each other and be totally honest.
Its just so confusing one day am up the next am down, we get on really well and she says that the time we spend together is the happiest she has been, but to me it feels just more of a friendship I dont want to push her as I know she is scared to show any commitment. But I feel as though I am just waiting for her to say if we have a future or not but I struggle with it been that way. I am just in limbo and feel my future is in her hands. I just dont know what to do for the best, trying to read women seems so hard lol.
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