Selling family home

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  • #64796 Report



    my husband and I separated in 2020, we own our home outright. We are starting the divorce process and selling the house has come up. At the moment he is renting a flat.

    I don’t want to sell the house, I want to live there with our two sons (12 and 18) youngest has autism and I don’t think a move would be good for him. Ideally I’d like to buy my ex out but at the moment I can’t work so I can’t raise that sort of money.

    A solicitor told me we can stay living here until the youngest leaves education, without paying anything, however there are some major repairs required on the house. My ex husband has said he won’t pay towards it as I have lived in the house rent free for 2 years while he has had to pay rent and child maintenance. He also says that I have a higher income than him, though I don’t work because of dla and carers allowance.

    I don’t know where I stand, can I force him to pay? Can he force me to sell? He says renting the flat he has is making the relationship with his kids difficult as they don’t want to spend much time at his flat as it is noisey and they don’t have their own rooms. So he wants us to sell so he can buy a house they’d have their own rooms in, which I understand but that might mean I have to get a flat that they don’t like!

    if I do sell I will then have a lump sum of money I can’t buy a property with without a mortgage. Which would then mean I’d lose universal credit until the money was gone. Or is there another option, could I put the money in trust for my boys? Could my ex sell and keep all the money and then include a monthly payment in the child maintenance so it wouldn’t effect my benefits? Or am I better holding out and staying in the family home until I’m not allowed anymore in the hope I can work by then?


    many thanks for any thoughts or personal experiences!


    #64799 Report


    All I can say is that you can’t force your husband to do repairs on a home that he no longer lives in. He is renting and paying  out and to be fair you have been able to stay in the property…

    You could get some quotes and if you do go down the route of repairs try and recoup the money back from the sale.

    When your property is sold you can’t hide your finances by putting it on your children’s bank accounts as there are audit trails and HMRC seem to make it their  business these days.

    If you are not working then you do not qualify for a mortgage unless you downsize and look for a cheaper alternative.

    Sorry if this is negative but this is what happened to me. I got mortgage and stayed on in home. I maintained property and was told that he will not  be contributing to repair or upkeep   I showed receipts but was not reimbursed after sale.

    #64805 Report


    Thank you for your reply, I do see your point but if I make the repairs it will increase what the house will be sold for in the end, so he will benefit.

    I will ask if he would accept me reclaiming the money from the sale but as that could be about 6 years away I don’t know I can afford to cover the repairs for that long.

    #64807 Report


    When you do repairs you are adding value to the property . He is out of pocket as he is renting.

    I suggest you get yourself 3 quotes from the estate agent and get some free legal advice. There are loads that will give you an hour.

    Try and see if ylu can afford to move to a smaller property where you don’t need a mortgage. Might be another area. It’s difficult if you don’t have funds to continue living in property despite who wronged who. This is unfortunately what happens when relationship breaksdiwn. Your children are older so why are you not working?

    #64808 Report


    My youngest has autism and I can’t get him to go to school regularly.

    I will try and get some further legal advice, the solicitor I spoke to did say we could stay in the house till my youngest is 18 so we could still say for 6 years or so before selling, thankfully

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