Seeing dad's girlfriend

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  • #26897 Report


    My LO is 7 and his father left just over 7 months ago for our friends daughter in law who my son knows. Its been a testing time for my son emotionally as he missis his dad very much so I organised for him to have a Councillor at school to help him understand his feelings. This is going OK although she has said for my LO it will be a long process as he has been affected alot by his dad’s absence

    I told my son that until he felt happy to see the girlfriend then he didn’t have to and told dad this. He was ok with this but the girlfriend is saying I can’t stop my son from meeting her. Am I wrong here? I havent said he won’t ever meet her just until he is emotionally stable from his fathers absence we should take things slow as I don’t want him to be set back any further than he already is

    Any advice is appreciated as I really do want to do whats best for my son without adding extra stress to his already mixed up feelings

    #26898 Report


    Hi Dawt68,

    I feel your pain I’m going through exactly the same thing right now myself. I have two children 4 and 7 years and my ex wants to introduce his girlfriend to the kids. I’ve only just told them a few days ago that daddy isn’t coming home and now my ex is pushing for her to meet the kids pretty much as we speak. I’m also very concerned about my oldest boy as he hasn’t been dealing with all of this very well; I’ve spoken to his teacher and asked for extra support for him at school too. Sadly I have no advice for you and as far as I’m aware your ex can introduce a new partner whenever they like ๐Ÿ™

    Like you I feel completely powerless and I just absolutely despair of my ex’s lack of care and regards to his children’s well-being.

    Best of luck


    #26899 Report


    Hey spirit

    Dad has agreed that he won’t press for our son to see his girlfriend until he is ready but has accused me of making things more difficult then needed to be!! This is based on the girlfriend introducing my husband to her kids as mummy’s friend and that she didnt agree that our son knew about her.

    I’d always told my husband that I wouldnt lie for him and when I was asked did daddy have a girlfriend I replied yes and dealt with all the questions that followed as sensitively as I could to help him understand

    Dad is ok with how it is right now and our son tells his dad he doesn’t want to see her but I just worry her influence on my husband

    is more powerful then the needs of his son.

    I know if push come to shove I can’t stop any meeting between them and I feel for you with how insensitive they become after leaving the family home. I hope the school can help you x

    #26903 Report


    My ex asked for my blessing can you believe it but then pretty much told me that he can and he will be introducing her to the kids anyway. He explained to me in a patronising tone that it is no different to introducing any other new friend to the children – what the hell, so you sleep with all of your friends then! Kids are like sponges they will pick up on things especially the older one.

    Oh yes they have away of twisting things to suit their needs and like you I am concerned of the new girlfriends influence too. I’m trying not to sound or be bitter but the way he has gone about this and the way he has just told me that’s what he’s doing whether I like it or not is just unbelievable in my eyes!

    Having never been through anything like this I just don’t know what to expect but I’m just truly saddened by my exes behaviour towards me and the kids ๐Ÿ™

    Let me know how things go for you too it’s such a horrible position to be put in. It’s caused me so much stress and anxiety and he just doesn’t get it as he’s all loved up.

    Best wishes hun


    #26908 Report


    Ain’t they just so considerate in how they behave lol

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