School shoes struggle

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  • #58282 Report

    gps27145
    Participant

    Hey I need some help when it comes to school shoes, the problem is that I went shoe shopping today for my children (daughter 12 and son 9) and whilst my daughter was trying a pair of very girly loafers on my son asked if he could get them as well as he thinks they look really nice but I told him he couldn’t and now I feel really bad because he has seemed really down about it ever since. What should I do about this and should I get him the shoes

    #58283 Report

    Vintagedresser
    Participant

    If you have already bought him shoes for school then you can tell him no maybe next time. If you haven’t then let him have them it’s his situation to deal with if the other kids say anything. He will have to walk into school and hold his head high and own it, if he wants to wear them. Hope that helps hun ๐Ÿ™‚

    #58284 Report

    gps27145
    Participant

    Yeah that helps, I haven’t bought him any yet as he wouldn’t get any except thoese girly loafers and pH ok yeah he is the type of kid to not care about getting bullied so I might get them for him thank you

    #58285 Report

    Timefortea
    Participant

    Yeah I agree with Vintage.

    Our instinct as parents is to protect them but at the same time itโ€™s kind of deciding where the line is between protecting them and not allowing to express themselves/ learn from their own lived experiences.

    Your the best one to make the judgement on how your son would deal with any controversy but undoubtedly Iโ€™m sure you would be there to support him.

    I hope everything works out for you ๐Ÿ™‚

    #58286 Report

    gps27145
    Participant

    Oh ok yeah I really didn’t want him getting bullied that’s why I initially said no and yeah I should allow him to be himself abs yeah now I’m really thinking about getting him the girly loafers

    #58287 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    If he wants the shoes, is happy & comfortable it’s all good. If he doesn’t seem phased by gender stuff it could be that he’s gender diverse?

    – both mine define as non-binary, shopping is fun ๐Ÿ™‚ we don’t really pay attention to who wears what from where… as long as it fits & is comfortable. we rock ๐Ÿ™‚

    Might be worth checking out Mermaids, best org in the country for gender-diverse kids & parents. We are quite a big community, nothing controversial about it really, gender diversity exists across all of nature & human history, completely naturalย  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Homepage – Mermaids (mermaidsuk.org.uk)

    #58288 Report

    Timefortea
    Participant

    Undoubted children can be cruel in schools but with saying that they are growing up in more of a socially developed environment.

    By that I mean there is much more awareness of differences within society and more importantly valuing those differences. So I would like to think should there be any children that arenโ€™t so understanding the school would be supportive and address any issues with the other children.

    However these are all just assumptions and he may not get any backlash ๐Ÿ˜Š

    #58295 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    I guess it’s worth saying as others have… it is important to recognise there can be ignorance & discrimination out there…

    most of stigmas tend to be because people haven’t been given the privilege or access to education, which is easily forgivable, but thankfully we do have a lot of information and amazing organisations & charities out there to help teach.

    sometimes it can be related to neurodiversity or mental unwellness, but to break a stigma, most people do realise they have an issue & do try to get help in general.

    sometimes it is just because somebody is just a troll, a bully or abusive… but minor bullies tend to back down or backtrack when they realise they are powerless, If they don’t thankfully most of the hate is covered by law, as transphobia is a recognised hate crime & thankfully we do have some amazing charities & organisations, with many more who are inclusive, like gingerbread to support us if this happens ๐Ÿ™‚

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by JBLA.
    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by JBLA.
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