School holidays fairness

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  • #58785 Report

    Mr M.
    Participant

    Hello I’m struggling with how unfair my current contact is . This year due to us going week to week for contact and my boy lives with me full time . All holidays and bank hols are falling on my weeks .there mom has taken full advantage and has booked events for herself without children. Although this is fair in time wise it’s proving difficult for me cost wise as no car and no spare cash as was laid off last year . I just feel I need a break . All year I see there mom travelling off on find yourself retreats and that’s great . I know I need to highlight this but the response is it’s my responsibility as it my time with kids . Just bad luck how the weeks fall ? Advice please as I have no one to discuss thus with . Love and peace . Mark

    #58810 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    hey Mark 🙂

    totally understand the parental exhaustion, can happen to the best of us! Just to clarify, your son is with you full time/ your a stay at home dad & your have your other kids week to week/ends & on their hols? – sorry if i’ve got that bit confused in anyway.

    I don’t think a lot realise how difficult it is to be out of work with kids full time, most parents i know (including myself at times!) went back to work for a break! It can be tough of course balancing it all, but it is immeasurably exhausting parenting full time, especially without breaks! I’m yet to meet or know anyone who doesn’t get to a point of exhaustion, no matter how much they adore their kids, it’s not about not living upto your responsibilities to need a break sometimes. You deserve breaks for your wellbeing too!

    It’s lovely to hear that you respect mums needs for holidays & breaks in this, but if your not getting a break at all either maybe its time to prioritise yourself a bit more too?

    Maybe it’s time for a sit down to discuss, it seems she understand the importance of a break so maybe she would be more inclined to realise you need one too? … if it is tough to discuss might be worth trying to get support from relate, who can offer mediation to help find a healthier balance for you all. they can also support you individually too if wanted to get through any tough moments. they really understand difficulties in communication & all the ins & outs of parenting and can really help find healthiest foot forward long term. Relate | The relationship people

    also if you struggling to find folk to talk to who understand, a friend recently spoke very highly of ‘dad’s’ house, might be worth checking out 🙂 – they have a mentor & buddy service too – or might know of more support in your local area if wanted.

    hope this helps 🙂 Love & peace to you too bud.

    #58811 Report

    JBLA
    Participant

    Dads House – Helping Dads…be Dads

    – if this helps 🙂

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