Sadness.

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  • #7116 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    New to this whole single parent thing and feeling down. Can’t understand how my partner could just abandon me. Feel like my future dreams and plans as a family unit have been robbed. Feeling very down.

    Just wondering if anyone can relate to how I’m feeling (stupid question) and if it gets better? How can I feel better? Feel completely rejected and messed around as if I meant nothing. I love my child but I don’t want to do this alone.

    #7118 Report

    NewMummy
    Participant

    Hi,

    First of all I’m sorry to hear what’s happened. I am going through a similar situation. Do you have any kind of support from friends or family?

    Take each day slowly, it will get easier. That’s how I’m taking it myself.

    Your partner will be the one missing out on your little bubba,just focus on the both of you. You can do it mummy :))

    Please try to get some help from gp or health visitor for feeling down. I know it’s hard but how about some baby groups? Xx

    #7121 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    Hi,

    Thanks for responding. I have help from my parents. They have my baby two nights a week which is really helpful.

    I just feel every day is the same? Not sure if you feel the same way but it’s a 5.00 AM start every day and then just stuck in the house in a constant cycle of feed, nappy change, burp, nurse , soothe to sleep and repeat and laundry/dishes/ vacuum / mop. My baby only naps for 20 mins tops per day too so barely time to eat or have a cup of tea. I don’t eat dinner unless my parents have her. I wasn’t meant to do this alone and the workload is relentless and all consuming. It’s honestly ruined my experience of being a mother. I was so looking forward to it but it’s just constant stress and solitude. There is no partner coming home at the end of the night to share dinner with/chat to/ watch tv with, no weekends spent on family outings etc. I feel so lonely and crave adult conversation/interaction but he doesn’t care less. He lives with people so he’s not lonely, he gets consistent good sleep, all his cooking/laundry done for him, no stress/responsibility/ expectations put upon him after work whilst I’m here worn out, sad and rejected doing everything myself when we were supposed to be a family and make amazing memories and learn and grow together.

    I don’t understand how someone can just abandon someone they supposedly loved and forget about your dreams and future plans.

    I’m not in any baby groups yet but considering going. Are you?

    Sorry for the rant.

    Hope you are okay, how are you coping?? xx

    #7122 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    What area are you tealady3? How old is baby? I know it’s a struggle and certainly what you’re going through is not what any of us plan but have faith in yourself. You can do this, were often stronger than we think. It’s important to break that routine of Groundhog Day, just stick baby in a sling and go meet a friend in a coffee shop, call round for a brew at friends and don’t lose who you are. Certainly as NewMummy suggests, get to your local baby groups

    #7123 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    I’m in South Wales, where are you two based? Baby is 14 weeks old so really young and super clingy/ dependent.

    I definitely resonate with ‘groundhog day’ I feel like I’m just going through the motions completely. We do try and go for a daily walk but it’s just so lonely and boring. Feeling pretty isolated without my partner. I wouldn’t mind it in the day if he came home at evenings/ had days off work but he doesn’t come back so the house is always silent and adult less if that makes sense and it gets me down when I just need that company so much!!!

    I think I need to try a baby group definitely.

    What is your situation DMP? xx

    #7124 Report

    H
    Participant

    Hi

    My ex husband walked out for someone he worked with a year ago  next month. I can relate to you in some of the things u say my boys are older though and at school it is hard work and I’m shattered most of the time. But yes it definetly gets easier and I’m proud at everything I achieve daily even if it something small because I’m doing it all myself. He does see the kids but he’s also very selfish if he wants to do something he will let them down. I feel the same as u as u always think your going to have that family unit but the older your child gets u will feel the rewards and they will be proud that u stuck by them and did your best and that’s all you have got to think. My bond with my 2 is lovely and they tell me they love me and cuddle me everyday and when you get to that it’s lovely and you will see it’s because they appreciate you.

    When I look at my ex now i think to myself you have done me a favour I don’t need someone that will treat me like shit and then leave me for someone younger who has no kids and nothing in common except there foul mouth and love themself attitudes and neither do you your better than that it just takes a while to see it but you will.

     

    Definetly get yourself out even if it’s for a cup of tea because u will be surprised at how many people are in the same vote and noone wants to say it first that there also a single parent.

    Take each day as it comes and little steps at a time it’s a massive adjustment.

     

    #7126 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    My situation is 3 kids, aged 13,11,6yo now. Based in west Yorkshire. I get where you’re at, I was alone not long after I had my first child, I remember it well. Looking back I was depressed, felt so isolated, was angry with my partner (he cheated & left), I struggled to adjust to motherhood. I’m older and wiser now but realise ‘I’ got lost somewhere, i didn’t know who I was anymore, I was just mum. I never was one for going out and getting sloshed but nevertheless the transition was difficult. Don’t beat yourself up. I suppose I’ve learnt never trust someone with the complete responsibility of my happiness. I’m responsible for that. We all need support from time to time, me being me, would in that situation be inviting myself round to various friends houses for tea maybe 1/2 times a week. Leave a light on and maybe some music so you’re not coming home to an empty quiet house, take baby’s pj with you so they’re straight to bed when you get home. If you need to chat, I believe you can private message on the site. Just look after yourself

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