Reuniting with absent father

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  • #57385 Report

    LizziePond
    Participant

    I have been a single parent to my son since well before his first birthday – he is now 10. The relationship with his father was always difficult and very turbulent. The break up was <u>horrendous</u> and the police were involved in several occasions due to stalking, harassment and threats of serious violence to name a few. I was scared if my own shadow for years after and have never been able to let down my guard enough to meet anyone else since.

    So after ten years of no contact (not even  birthday or Christmas cards) my son has asked to meet his dad. The thought of this makes me feel physically sick with anxiety but I know it is something that a child needs.
    I have managed to make contact and although he is saying he wants to see his son I have been surprised at his lack of enthusiasm (god knows why I’m surprised.) I messaged him two weeks ago and we have still yet to confirm a date.

    I’m finding the whole situation <u>extremely</u> difficult. He doesn’t deserve to see his son but my son deserves a dad. He will not be a hands on dad who considers his needs and wants to guide him the correct way through life, he will buy him a present and let him do whatever he wants.
    If he has never bothered in ten years (I even went to a solicitor at the beginning but my letters were ignored) should it be me chasing him again to have a relationship with his own child? But then if I don’t am I letting my son down?

     

    #57396 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    I think you should do it for your child, and hopefully they get along well.

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