Respite for Children,help?

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  • #18980 Report


    Hello I’m Dean a widdowed single parent to a boy aged 6 ,been widdowed for 3 years now and it is so tough to cope with everything by yourself,I have no family near me as I live in Leicestershire and I’m in debt with a credit card and struggle to make payments due to the interest .i don’t get any spare time to my self and when I do ever go out finding a babysitter is hard and they charge £10 a hour .So I was wondering is there any places or associations that give parents a break,I used to do medical studies and I feel doing 1 would help me get out of debt or having a break from my son who I love ,I have contemplated putting my son up for adoption I no some might disagree with this but if you are living this life you might agree,am I doing my sons life any good having a dad who is sad because of his situation.

    So I would be grateful for advice please.

    regards dean

    #18983 Report


    When you are on your own and up to your neck in debt everything looks bleak especially when you have a little one to clothe, feed and look after.

    You are bereaved and feeling low especially as we have just had christmas.  Thinking  that you could have given your son more. It’s very hard to find  free baby sitting these days

    What is your relationship like with your family and your partners ? If you moved nearer do you think that they would help?

    I was at my all time low when my little girl was born and contemplated adoption because I was depressed . Have you thought about changing credit cards to see if you can qualify for  interest free balance transfer so that you can spread payments so that you are not paying interest?

    You are also suffering from bereavement it just does not go away over night. Are you religious in any way? Sometimes going to church and taking your son helps a little.  I am not a religious person but I took my little girl to Sunday classes and we have made lots of friends and some of these people baby sat my daughter.  I am a working mum so the lady who never charged me I now pay her for looking after my daughter when she gets home from school.

    Your little boy loves you to bits and you are his world . Maybe a trip to the gp because it sounds like you have depression.

    Take care and look after yourself and I’m sorry that you feel this way

    #18990 Report


    Hello Sherima thankyou for your message,it’s been a nightmare 3years ,everything that could go wrong did,my family is not close,my mum was all over my son when my partner died then she didn’t contact and hasn’t done since.

    I’m not a church goer as the anger towards the powers above or wherever they are ,ever time I have prayed something goes wrong and the opposite happens,but I do occasionally take my son on a Saturday to a meet up at a church and on a fort nightly to a village nearby which does free film nights which are good.thankyou for your advice.

    regards Dean


    #19000 Report


    What I have noticed with the church that I take my daughter to is that that they had lots of activities over the holidays for children. They have got elders who have supported single parents with children like play dates, dinner and baby sitting. We did not go over the holidays as we have been staying with my sister

    I am working so not much spare time as it’s either work or catching up with up with house work and hospital appointmemts for my daughter. Also they have a system where they ask each other for help on exchange for something else like baby sitting.

    Do you think you could eat humble pie and take your son to see your family over the holiday’s?  We have all  fallen out with relatives but your son is probably feeling sad too. I am sure if your family knew you were feeling like this they may help

    I went sometime without seeing my relatives because they didn’t think that they needed help and never asked me if I I needed any support.  Last Christmas  was awful but we did spend a lovely christmas day with my friend and going to things that were free.  Since my parents died I spend the holidays with my sister and her family.  My sister told me she was going  abroad because she she was stressed and needed a holiday because she was having a difficult time at home. .I later discovered my sister and her family had spent christmas with her friends who had flown out to be with her bit she didn’t invite us.  I felt gutted for my daughter as she she loves going to my sister’s . I bit my tongue and invited them for a meal in the new year but  didnt say nothing.

    This year she must have felt embarrassed and insisted we stay from 23 December so we went and was spoilt for the whole week.

    Please do  not leave it too late and make contact with your relatives! I am telling you this for your own good!

    #19033 Report



    I’d recommend finding a support group for parents in your situation. Speak to the doctors, they’ll be able to recommend what’s available if you can’t find out yourself.

    You can call your credit card company and explain your situation. They can move you on to 0% and cap your monthly payments.

    I hope this helps a little

    #19047 Report


    Thankyou Solomum and Dewdrop for your advice I will try what you have recommended.

    regards dean

    #19079 Report

    Hi Deano48

    I’m glad to see you have been getting support from our community.  I am emailing you with some signposting which may be of use to you.

    Take care


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