I decided to leave my husband in March. He was my very best friend but I wasn’t in love with him anymore. In all honesty, I thought there was something bigger and better out there. I think I hoped for happiness. It was a controlling relationship and so I really craved independence.
Well, 8 months on and I have realised the alternative life I was hoping for really sucks. I miss my old life. It was comfortable, safe and I got to be with my daughter every day. Independence is hard and lonely. Relationships are messy. Life is such a struggle now and I miss having my little girl full time. I totally regret leaving. I wish I hadn’t of resented what I had and had started appreciating the little things.
Does anybody else feel this way? I know it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have left and it’s a decision I have to live with now, but what an error it was.
8 months is such a short time, rebuilding a life in that time would be nearly impossible for most folk so I think you just need to be patient even though that may seem impossible at the moment.
Another thing to bare in mind is that the human brain is geared to forget the things that are bad, or rather the feeling of things. I can look back to some awful experiences, I remember clearly how low I was but the feelings I felt at the time are no longer there. It’s why so many of us try to go back only to find all of the negative feelings come flooding back and we then remember why we left in the first place.
Your in the middle of transitioning into a new life and that can be hard but it will get better little by little.