Recently split up

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  • #50590 Report



    my ex boyfriend left me after 19 years together. We had been together since I was 15 & him 18. He left two weeks before my daughters 18th birthday saying he needs to find himself and feels suffocated. He contacted me everyday leading up to my daughters 18th then he just went no contact until last night messaging me about passing all the bills back to me

    #51569 Report


    Hi hope you are doing ok. This sounds like a very similar situation in-fact I could have written this he said the exact same things about finding himself and feeling suffocated. He is also keen to pass all the bills to me too. I found out after 2 months of lies it was actually an affair and that’s why he hasn’t been contacting the children as if that’s a valid excuse. If I can help in anyway or even if you just want a chat I am here

    #51578 Report


    thank you so much. It’s funny isn’t it because recently had a bill come through and 4 weeks after leaving me he was on tinder. He has now contacted me about sorting the bills which is good and will get that done. It’s just difficult because he sees our daughter in the flat where we lived as a family as currently he only has a room to rent at his aunties. But once he stops contributing to the bills surely I am within my rights to say he can see our daughter elsewhere. Our daughter is 18.

    #51604 Report


    I have the same the contact at the minute is at our family home but I am the same as it feels like you just start to get yourself together and then they need to come in to your space that you are trying to make in to a positive space it is very hard to separate the two. My children are 8 and 3.

    #51629 Report


    funny I had a message today to ask if we can sort the bills out April. Also said I hope your ok and I hope the dog is ok as he recently brought my daughter a new puppy

    #51742 Report


    To Dom,

    If the flat you were both living in. If he has left and does not want to contribute to the flats bills. He is like a left tenant. You can get a lodger to rent out a room to cover the cost. He has lost his entitlement to live there unless you decide you want him back. He made the decision to leave.

    Your partner does not have to see your daughter in your flat. He can see her in a public place, park, shops…It is up to your daughter now where or not if she wants to see her Dad or not. She could visit him at her flat.

    Visiting her doesn’t mean sleeping over. It is want you and your daughter are happy with. if you are not happy coming into your flat. If he doesn’t own/jointly own it. He can not come in without your permission.

    I hope that helps,

    Thanks Katherine,

    #51866 Report

    Ho Dom.cooper

    I’m Michelle one of the Moderators here.  It sounds as though you may need to check your question regarding housing with a service who can offer professional advice.

    You could get in touch with the Single Parents Helpline.  They should be able to guide you with your query or signpost you to and agency that can help.

    Shelter also offer guidance around housing.  Here are some contact details for the services I’ve mentioned:

    Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline – Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours:  Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10- 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4  They can be busy so callers can expect to wait up to 20 minutes before the call is answered

    Shelter Expert Housing Advice

    I hope that helps a little

    Kind regards





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