Recently single, pregnant and really struggling

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  • #39156 Report


    Hope everyone is keeping safe during lockdown. My partner left me when 17 weeks pregnant and said that he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and still really struggling to come to terms with how my life has changed. We haven’t had any contact for 2 weeks now.I feel really overwhelmed, especially isolating. I have great friends and am very lucky to be back with my parents, who have been great support. My ex’s family are even in contact weekly to check on me/say that they will be in the baby’s life and are offering to buy things. But it isn’t the same as getting the support from your partner/the baby’s dad. I go through waves of thinking ‘you b*****d you should be helping too’. I am disgusted in what he has done but still missing him and our relationship so much & can’t believe the man I loved so much doesn’t even have the decency to check in on me/the pregnancy considering the circumstances.  I have started to buy things for the baby (I am having a little boy) and feeling him kicking is keeping me going every day, but I am really hurting and ultimately am spiralling into depression / obsessing over how it has ended.   Is there anyone who has gone through or is going through the same and did everything work out for you? How did you help get yourself better? I have posted a few times on here and it almost brings me comfort I guess?

    • This topic was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by GingerbreadJustine. Reason: Removed formatting codes
    #39157 Report


    Hi lovely.

    I know exactly how your feeling. I am only 9 weeks pregnant (early days i know) but have had an early scan which showed all ok so far.

    Been witj my partner very very happily for nearly 4 years… He was never sure he wanted children… I always knew i did.. However this wasnt plannrd and has been a big shock.

    I knew i was never going to abort, which he wanted me to and is saying i have taken his choice away and he will not be supporting me through the pregnancy. I am absolutely devestated.he is however a kind caring man ehich is why i am so shocked. Wr havnt seen each other for a month now and i have decided to block him as i cant deal with the sadness of hearing his words.i am hoping witj time he may come around… But im not counting on it.i really hope your ok here if you need to talk xx


    #39186 Report



    Thank you for replying, and I am sorry to hear that you are also in a similar position. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope you are feeling ok?

    My ex is also a kind and caring man, and this is very out of character for him. He also has 2 kids to a previous relationship who he adores, and we did always speak about marriage and having children together, but the last time I saw him he said that he has been kidding himself and feelings change. My heart feels so broken as right up to the end he seemed so in love with me.

    I have blocked him, too. We have not spoken for 2 weeks and the last time I saw him was just over a month ago. I am praying every day he changes his mind and still loves me, as I am sure you are too but the longer time goes on, the more I think it isn’t going to happen. Do you have a good support unit around you? xxx

    #39187 Report


    Re: [Gingerbread] Recently single, pregnant and really struggling  Hello, Thank you for replying, and I am sorry to hear that you are also in a similar position. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope you are feeling ok? My ex is also a kind and caring man, and this is very out of character  I am very down and very sick which i hope gors soon! Obviously this is a double whammy for us as it is such a sensitive time as it is let alone going through it in lockdown!Yes i have amazing friends and family do you?I think regarding men… Sometimes they freak out and i think they definitely take alot longer to accept and get their head around things.  What he doesnt understand is the woman feels everything that they cant.  Im worried that this will go on too long and i will change my mind about him as he hasn’t been there in the times i need him the most.  The only advice i can give you is what i am trying to follow myself which is… Stay strong and confident in the choice you have made and understand that you can do this alone and if he decides to come on board then anything else is a bonus. I have to say i am finding some comfort in the fact that im not the only one.can i ask how old yourself and your partner are?Xxxx

    • This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by GingerbreadJustine. Reason: removed formatting codes
    #39241 Report


    I’m so sorry to hear you are going through something similar to me also but comforting to know I’m not alone. I’m 25 weeks pregnant in my late 20’s and I found out recently that my husband of 2 years (together for 8) has been having an affair for a over a month. As soon as I found out I walked out on him and he has made very little effort to try and win us back. He then moved in with her a few days later and hasn’t showed much remorse for what he has done. He still wants to be involved in the pregnancy and baby when they are here but has no remorse for what he has done to me and his baby. He has abandoned us both for someone he has only just met (work colleague) there were bumps the last few months due to a difficult pregnancy but I didn’t realise we were unhappy enough for this to happen it is completly out of the blue and unexpected. I feel completly abandoned and broken and worry il forever be alone as who will want me now?? I don’t understand why men do it. I don’t know if I could ever trust another man again after this. He wanted a baby more than me and the moment I’m pregnant and at my most vulnerable he does this… I’m completly devastated and don’t know what to do 😞 I hope you are holding up OK and wish you a healthy pregnancy going forward  xx

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