Recently separated, finding it very strange…

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  • #49467 Report

    Hbs12
    Participant

    Hi all, not normally one for forums etc. But I find myself in a situation. Not knowing what way to turn! My wife of 10yrs has left me and our four amazing children. I have also found out that she has been doing stuff behind my back for the past two years….I am full time working. Just feel so hopeless, embarrassed, confused and emotional less. I not sure if that’s normal. Feel a little better as I write this, but I guess I’m not alone and things will get better. Lee

    #49475 Report

    Ali.saa
    Participant

    hello there,

    Those kind of feelings are normal but not really embarrassing!

    you aren’t alone here and we are the same way some of us passed these awful thing and feelings and some of us is in the middle of this difficulty. 

    Hope things get better for you

    #49487 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    You are ‘in a situation’,allright! How do you manage to work full time with 4 kids…..unless they’re older kids?! I feel a bit dysfunct when I read things like that from single dads.You certainly don’t sound Normal! You sound like  superwoman.So…how does that work,secrets please?

    #49491 Report

    Hbs12
    Participant

    Thank you, my children are 13, 10, 7 & 3….unfortunately I can’t share any secrets, I work shifts 2days and 2nights being a key worker they still attend school. But yea it’s not easy to sort childcare etc and the cost!!. I just wanted to keep them in their routine as much as possible….I’m hoping in time things will get better. It’s just the whole mixture of feelings etc.

    #49492 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Oh wow,they’re young, that’s not easy.I have 4 too,they were ages 1-7 when we started on this page of our family history😂I think routine’s the most important, but a lot of people talk about having fun bla bla and it’s really hard to muster up the energy at times.I suppose it’s about finding the balance.I hope you stay sane.

    #49507 Report

    Cbailey
    Participant

    I have 2 children and me and partner of 14 years have separated. All of the things your feeling are normal, I feel the same but focus of being the best parent you can be. My main focus is just that, making sure I have valuable fun times with my children. Our 8 year is struggling so I’m looking at some counselling. Feel free to pm me if you have any advice. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to greive, be kind to yourself

    #49536 Report

    Swilko
    Participant

    I struggle on a daily basis I have 4 children 2 years ago I moved to an area with a partner away from my family and friends im totally isolated since we broke up i have no adult company. The children’s dad barely sees them so since lockdowns I’ve had the children home constantly its exhausting mentally and physically. For you to be doing all this and working I salute you. Be strong the heartbreak and emotional feelings won’t last forever, allow yourself to have low days and don’t be hard on yourself

    #49545 Report

    Gummibear123
    Participant

    Hey Swilko,

    I can’t imagine doing that in a place where ide be a stranger,that must be so hard!! I thought I was having it hard but You must be an amazing person.You sound like despite your difficulties you have it together.There are some heroic people on here who have it so challenging particularly This year,& they just keep putting one foot in front of the other ….

    #49549 Report

    Swilko
    Participant

    Aww thankyou but not amazing just doing what I have to do to keep going on. I just look forward to getting some routine back in life like back to school and me back to uni. Im doing a 1st year law degree and its proved nothing but difficult since starting in September, I’ve had the kids at home most of the time and trying to get studying in with them around is just not happening enough. luckily for me the uni have given me the opportunity of a wellbeing coach and a studies advisor starting from next week so here’s to focusing on positive steps for the future.

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