Recently separated as in 2 days ago
- This topic has 9 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 3 months ago by Mummymelly.
11 April 2018 at 3:44 am #9981
Out of the blue my husband announced on Sunday he’d met someone 2 weeks ago on plenty of fish website and left me and his 2 daughters age 10 & 3. Won’t discuss it with me and is already staying with her. I’m devastated and totally clueless about what to do.11 April 2018 at 6:58 am #9982
sorry to hear this this has happened to you. I guess the first thing you need to do it to try and think about the practical stuff, finances and are you able to stay in the house you are currently in. It’s hard to think about all of this stuff when you are hurting and still in shock I would imagine. Also try and focus on getting through today and not worrying to about next week, next month etc.
Again, sorry to see this, if you want to chat anytime, feel free to PM me. Take care xx11 April 2018 at 7:29 am #9984
Aw Jeez, sorry. Pebbles is bang on.
These might help in the meantime. Support with any parenting problem: Family Lives 9am-9pm weekdays, 10am-3pm weekends FREE helpline 0808 800 2222 http://familylives.org.uk
If you have specific questions, do post here, but right now you might just need a bit of space to understand what happened.
Take care – we’re all here for you.11 April 2018 at 7:44 am #9986
Sorry to hear what has happened if you would like to talk more about it I’d be happy too a similar thing happened to me except my ex left for someone he worked with again out of the blue we were having a week off half term with our kids now 8-12 mine was Feb last year and he said I can’t do this anymore I like someone else relationship had already started with her as he admitted to sleeping with her apparently only 2 weeks after we split so I divorced him on adultery. I promise you things do get better I’m over a year now and I’m happy and glad it’s all over with him. Like previous comments take your time with that side but unfortunately you have to act quite quickly with the financial side if you need any help or advice I don’t mind take care.11 April 2018 at 8:03 am #9988
So sorry to hear whats happened , similar happened to me, after 28 years together, she left me with the children for a 21 year old she works with. Take each day as it comes, I promise you things do get better, theirs lots of practical advice here, and if you need to talk don’t hesitate to message me.11 April 2018 at 4:06 pm #10029
14 April 2018 at 11:14 am #10136
- I’m sorry to hear about what’s happened. A similar thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I wanted to discuss it but wasn’t really given much opportunity. When it first happened I was reading advice saying it’s gets easier and give it time and at first I just couldn’t see it but after a couple weeks things were becoming more managable. I found it really helpful to talk and write down my thoughts and feelings. Take care.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me at the end of January after 22years. He just walked out, refused to talk about our marriage or seek any guidance and was sleeping with a woman from work within 2 weeks. I now suspect it had been going on longer. It’s torn mine and our daughters lives apart. I’m certainly not at the point where I can say it gets easier but there are days where things are okay and then times like this week where I struggle to even function.
I’ve found taking control of the things I can have helped me to focus. He wanted a divorce within the fortnight and although I can’t really afford it I’ve taken the bull by the horns and started divorce proceedings against him. I’ve also transferred all the bills into my name so I know that these are covered etc. These may be small practical steps but each one is a step forward. I’ve also found just recognising and sharing very small achievements with a friend is helping, silly things like I’ve changed a lightbulb, fixed the garden gate or just taken the kids on a bike ride on my own! Due to the emotional abuse I suffered in my relationship these feel like monumental achievements for my self-confidence and self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong I still have to go into the shower everyday for a good cry, where the children can’t hear me, I can’t eat or sleep and my anxiety levels are out of control!
Feel free to message me if you need to chat xx14 April 2018 at 11:20 am #10137
Star12 – if it helps I didn’t eat or sleep for 7 weeks after it all ended until my body collapsed. I was physically abused by her. Having looked after them on my own for 8 months, I never see the kids now. It eats me. PM me if I can help because I came through it.17 April 2018 at 6:41 am #10224
Thank you. He was vile and nasty yesterday trying to goad me. He has already allowed our daughters to talk to her on several occasions despite my protests and is adamant they are ready to meet her. My 10 year old in in pieces as she’s told him she’s not ready yet but he says she’s just listening to me. It’s very hard. He’s had a sudden change of heart regarding forcing a house sale purely because he finally bothered to look on line and has obviously discovered that in most cases until youngest turns 3 you can’t force a sale. He is saying he will pay all the mortgage but that he thinks will reduce his cms payments