Recently separated and needing to consider relocation for work

[SingleDad83Participant]

Hi,

I’m a newbie to this forum and was wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation to mine and would be kind enough to share your experience?

My wife and I separated in August 2017 and were living under the same roof until October this year. I’ve since moved out and live just a 5min drive from my old home. We have two young children, 5yrs and 2yrs, who stay with me every other weekend and every Monday-Tues. We made it our mission throughout the separation to make them the priority and if anything good has come from the difficulties we’ve faced this last year or so, it’s that we know we’ve minimised the effects it’s had on them.

The problem we now face is that, I’m a self-employed freelancer that would ideally like a more stable working situation for myself and my family that doesn’t rely on when the next contract will arrive or how long it will be for.  Unfortunately, in my field, there are just no opportunities in my geographical area and I would have to relocate if I wanted to stay on my career path in a permanent role. As a dedicated dad, the idea of this is crippling as I know that regular contact with my kids would drop considerably were I to move. The majority of the opportunities are in the South of England and I and my family are currently in Scotland so the shift would be massive. I seem to be caught between a rock and a hard place – stay to be close to my kids but be forced to take a dramatic cut in pay to take a job I don’t particularly want, or, move away to remain in a career that I love but give up the regular contact I have with my children.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do and, if you moved, how did it impact on you and your family?

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

Hi

I’ve not been in this scenario itself but…..

Pre children I earned a very good salary, but had a long commute and long hours, the typical for a professional role.

I made the decision to be a stay at home mother and work once started school.

Ny options were quite simply:

• full tine conditions as above, miss out on dropping/collecting from school, not being with my child much on a week day but having heat finances and holidays etc but limited flexibility.
• Part time hours, barely a third of my old income, but I’m around for school, have flexibility, don’t miss out on activities etc. We won’t be going for any cruises or safaris but we’re happy. 😄

 

i May  return one day to my career, but right now my child is my priority and you only have go at that.

So in your shoes I’d choose the children over the career. Nothing to say you can’t leave those option open for a years further down the line…..

[KathymumofoneParticipant]

Hi Sd83,

I’m not sure if this helps but one of my colleagues lives in Aberdeen at the weekend, flies south early on Monday, rents a room 4 nights a week from a friend, and then flies home on Friday afternoon.

It would depend on finding someone with a spare room in the South East but most HR teams are used to helping with that sort of thing.

[Author]

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