Recently separated and just trying to get some help, support and maybe advice

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  • #64210 Report

    Hi there.     Got given my marching orders about a month ago and am struggling with the anticipated affects of the changes.    Two kids, 2 and 4 are involved so it’s got the potential to get complicated.    I live in her house, I’ve got my own house but it’s rented.  I’ve given the tenants notice but, as any landlord will know, it isn’t that easy.   I feel for my tenant as they’re in a tricky situation themselves.

    Ultimately I realise things will be ok, which I think is positive, I just think I’m scared sh**less of what’s going to happen.    All of this isn’t helped by the fact that my partner is giving me until the New Year to get out.   I was told we were done a month ago and originally I said I’d move out in the New Year as I was going to stay with my parents for a bit but my mother is now suffering with dementia and it isn’t fair on her for me to live there as she gets confused easily (talks to my sister-in-law as if she’s her neighbour).

    Anyway, I’d love to hear something which can makeme genuinely believe my assertion that I’m going to be ok…..

    #64213 Report


    hey, sorry to hear you’re going through all of this. Do you have a definite leaving date for your tenants? Alternatively, can you look into a hotel for the short term in the New Year? I’m also newly separated (3 weeks) and like you, am hoping that things will be ok. And they will – they have to be! Just maybe doesn’t feel like it right now x

    #64214 Report

    Hotels seem like such an expensive option though, don’t they?   Definitely an option though so one I’ll keep for an emergency.

    The date with the tenants is the 2nd Feb.  Getting my house back will answer all the problems that I think I have, I just know from the experience of others as well as TV shows etc, that tenants who know they system and don’t really want to go can make it quite hard to get them to leave.   I have to admit that I’m probably doing my regular thing and expecting the worst though.  There’s a chance it could all be fine but hearing my tenant’s story it seems like she’s in a far worse place than I am. I know it’s not my responsibility but can’t help but feel sorry for her.

    You’re three weeks in yourself?   Near as damn it the same as me then.   Little ones involved too?  I just fear for the welfare of mine.  The ex makes poor financial decisions a lot of the time and she’s had me to bail her out in the past but no more.   I just hope they’re gonna be ok under her financial management.

    m thanks for responding, by the way, I think I’ve been a bit desperate to have the obvious spelt out to me:- it’ll all be ok in the end.

    #64216 Report


    You’re right – hotels are an expensive option. Especially if it may be for a month or more. I know you said you are reluctant to stay with your parents, and I do understand this – but I am sure your Mum would want to do everything she could to support you through this difficult time. Both of my grandparents had dementia for 10 years plus, so I know what a horrible / sad illness it can be. What has your dad said?

    Reach out to those who love you – I am sure you have lots of people around you who want to help in whatever way they can. I know if I had a friend in your situation I would insist on them staying with me whilst they get sorted.

    As for your children – lots of reassurance of how loved they are, open and honest conversations and lots of time where they can talk and you can listen (this is advice I am also giving myself right now!) You sound like an incredibly grounded and level headed person, all will be fine! And in the future, maybe all will be more than fine 😊

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