11 August 2020 at 10:50 pm #42893
I apologise for the long post but I’ve not spoken to anyone about this. I’ve just bottled it all up.
Me and my child’s dad have been on and off relationship wise for 8yrs. We first separated when I was 5maths pregnant after a row & he punched a wall in anger narrowly missing my head. I left to stay with a family member for the night the next day he said we were over. For the rest of my pregnancy I hardly heard from him. I was constantly in & out of hospital with loss of fluid etc he never came to see me. When baby arrived he made all the promises in the world so we tried again but he told his family we were not an item. This upset me loads. When our child reached 4months old he said he wanted to have the baby on his own because his family didn’t want to see me only the baby. I was breastfeeding & we were still in a relationship occording to him. Over the next 3yrs I dealt with abuse from his family in various ways, mainly verbal & then he started seeing someone else but kept it a secret. Our child got hurt by his new partner (bruised arm) I contacted the police & social services but he lied & said I was making it up. Our then 3yr old told him his partner had hurt him & he called him a liar & took me to mediation. After our 3Rd meeting he broke the agreement & said we would sort the situation ourselves. The next 4yrs were perfect went on family days out, family holidays, spent Christmas day together at my house & stayed over night. I cooked tea for us at his house & vice versa. He dropped/picked me up from work & vice versa. Went to all school plays etc together. He was always hugging me & being affectionate. During lockdown I was always at work & he was furloughed but he started becoming distant. Our child caught covid so had to isolate during that time we barely heard from his dad. It was always me calling him. He didn’t help with any shopping or medicine our child needed. At the end of may I recieved a solicitors later stating I was stopping him from seeing his child which wasn’t true. I called him to discuss the letter & he told me to refer any messages to his solicitor. He threatened me with court several times & became verbally abusive. The police was called to my house on several occasions by neighbours who witnessed him being violent & verbally abusive towards me in front of our child. I told him if he had applied to the courts I would wait for the paperwork to come through but after 6 weeks of waiting I heard nothing. On fathers days our child went to his house overnight & bought gifts for his dad. When our child came back he was very moody & quite aggressive which is not normal. A few days later he told me his dad had a new partner & she had kicked him but when he told his dad his dad called him a liar. I tried to speak to his dad & he claimed it was all lies because he didn’t have a new partner. This went on for weeks. Our child suddenly didn’t want to go to his dad’s anymore & kept repeating his dad’s new partner had kicked him. I contacted social services but after speaking to his dad they called me childish & said his dad had made allegations against me. I tried to maintain contact with his dad threw calls & every other weekend like he asked for but his dad was becoming more unreachable as time went on. One weekend I called him 30 times throughout the day to arrange for him to pick our child up & when he did get in contact he said I hadn’t agreed to anything via court etc so he wouldn’t have him until it was set in stone. 2 weeks later I tried again but he said he had an appointment on a Saturday evening at 6pm so couldn’t pick him up. The following week during a call to our child he told us he did have a new partner. I said as a father he should’ve sat our child down & told him this news & not through a phonecall. Our child flew into a rage & smashed my living room up whilst shouting I told you I wasnt lying mummy. His dad said he was off out & hung up leaving me to deal with the aftermath. Since then his dad has not rung or contacted me in anyway. Then a week ago he attacked me & my mum in public car park with his new partner present. He assulted me & screamed in our child’s face he was a f***ING liar when our child again said he didn’t want to see him because his dad’s partner had kicked him & his dad didnt believe him. Our son reacted very badly kicking, punching & trying to get away from his dad. I told his dad to get back in his car & go away because he was causing our child distress. He pulled his arm so badly our child cried out in pain & was reduced to tears. His dad was arrested that day. Since then his dad & dad’s family have gone out of their way to make my life miserable. They’ve spread lies about me to my mum friends so they’ve all turned on me. I’ve suffered panic attacks. Tried to take my own life & social services still won’t do anything. I’ve left my job because I can’t stop shaking when I’m there to the point I have passed out. My child’s behaviour has become uncontrollable he doesn’t sleep, barely eats & is always being violent & angry. The other day he took a knife to his throat & said if he was dead his dad wouldn’t be treating his mum this way. I’ve been accused of creating fake Facebook accounts & making phonecalls to his partner but I don’t know her or her family. All I know is she is 10yrs younger than him & they met through work. I’ve been promised support from people & not got it. I’m literally at my wits ends because I don’t know what to do. His dad has refused to financially support his child & when I said to go through CM he laughed & said because he supports another child, gets benefits etc I would only get £10 a week but he does work as well. He’s never had a problem paying half for anything our child needs but he said it was time I learnt to provide for our child on my own. I feel so lost & confused. I feel like no one is believing anything my child says & my child has said the same. That no one believes him because his dad keeps lying and saying I’m making it all up.12 August 2020 at 1:30 pm #42898
Thank you for posting on our forum. Please be aware that I have sent you a private message and an email with some signposting options.