My ex and I separated almost a year ago, I left him with the kids, we went through mediation etc. All the normal stuff, and I haven’t looked back once in fact the way he has behaved has just confirmed my decision. If i’m honest I don’t think I ever really loved him.
However, I have recently found out that he has met someone new, the kids met her and have stayed the night at her house. He hadn’t spoken to me at all about this beforehand which I believe he should have done as my kids are so young and it is important that I know where they are and yes I would always reciprocate the favour.
Anyway, i’ve really been struggling with it emotionally and I don’t know why. Maybe it is the realisation that there is no going back although I never thought I would ever want that, the realisation that I have failed to build a good family home for my children or the fear of my children being exposed to another adult that has been poisoned by the hatred that my ex feels towards me. I asked to meet her and he told me she didn’t want to and doesn’t think well of me because of what he has told her.
Has anyone else been through something similar? Just looking for some advice and support.
So sorry to hear you feel so bad, I can imagine how you feel because my situation is similar. My guess is that when something like this happens, abandonment issues kick in, hence feeling so bad. Try to do something nice for yourself, in order to feel better.
It sounds like all of the things you ‘ve mentioned are the reasons why…but I would query your description about not giving your children a good family home. Are you being a bit hard on yourself? If I were in your situation, I would also struggle – how to protect your children, when things seem more outside your control.
I would keep a diary of your fears, so that you can reflect on what is (and isn’t) happening, take really good care of yourself, make sure you focus on your dreams, and try and keep your children away from conflict.