Really down need some advice or meet up with single parents

[Gingey28]

Had a really tough day, cant control my emotions. Had a date organised for thursday but that has not worked out as he dismissed that i feel down atm and dont know if meeting is wise

Hate living on my own, hate the flat im at. Really drained and stressed, losing weight and dont know how to break out of how i feel. All too much shouted at my son and felt awful.

What am i to do? Any help would be greatly appreciated

Thank you

[Sherinam]

I live on my own with my little girl and I also go to work.  On the days im not at work and my little one is not school I tend to make plans which does not involve spending much or nothing at all

So at the moment we have been going on walks at the weekends with our sausages , donuts and sandwiches and collect stuff that have fallen from trees like pine cones, conkers  etc…

Im going to make christmas garlands with greenery from the garden such as lavender, rosemary, ivy and bay leaves for our office.  All this has not cost anything at all and we have fun going out foraging . Last year we made Xmas wreaths and orange pomanders for less than 20p

It’s very refreshing getting out and having fun . It’s not easy being on your own but at least you hsve your little boy with you.

[Gingey28]

My son is nearly 1. Ive never know anything as demading and challenging as this. I feel utterly lonely everyone has someone and i dont. I break down a lot i cry i get angry I’ve bad arguments with my family on countless times i feel under so much pressure. Nothing works, anti depressants, counselling nope done them and feel im no better off. My head hurts i have headaches a lot and im rly drained

I go out nearly all time to family cos i cant bear being in this flat. I need to move it has not been the best place since i moved. It is my first place, left my mums and thought it would bring so much freedom…havent feel good. Feel like im useless and pathetic cos little things get me down and i am always on the phone askig for help feel a pain and a burden

[Westernchampion]

How are you doing today? Reading the above sounds like you are being too critical of yourself when you are just trying to do your best like most of us. There are many others in similar or same situation as you and you shouldn’t feel a burden. Asking for help shows strength.

[Gingey28]

Hi Westernchampion

Thank you for asking. Im better but yeah I guess i am the same as us all. I just dont like it when people expect me to be able to do everythin or jyst get on with it because they did. I just struggle and being on your own is not great when you feel down but no one can really change this just need to talk to people who know where im coming from

How are you?

[Sherinam]

I’ve been on my own since I was 5 months pregnant. No parents s and siblings who live far away. I am lonely  at times but I get on with it, get out , go work  and make sure my daughter comes first.

Like all children your little boy will be a handful but please do not take it out on him .

[Gingey28]

I reckon we have all shouted at out kids. I got shouted at. Wouldnt harm him but he needs to learn sometimes too

[Sherinam]

Shouting is a form of abuse ! My parents never shouted at us but we were disciplined.  So rather then vent your anger on your 1 year old  because you don’t like your life you should go and speak to your gp & get out and join toddlers and mums group which are sometimes free.

[Westernchampion]

I’m fine thanks ginger, I’ve shouted at my kids on occasions and  I’ve felt bad about it and instantly regretted it and tried to explain it to them. We are only human and we make mistakes but I try to learn from them.I’ve struggled being on my own at times and at other times I’ve preferred it. I’m happy to chat with you on here or pm and I’m sure others on here will.

[theyogajeanie]

We’ve definitely all shouted at our kids! Take it from me, they don’t remember it. My girls are 5 and 8 and my yelling at them when they’re naughty certainly hasn’t affected their characters or confidence!

Ive been where you are now Gingey. And I promise you, it will get better. I’m sure loads of people have said this to you. Time heals an awful lot. If you can get up each morning, put one foot in front of the other, then you’re doing great. And on days when you just want to hide under the duvet, don’t be afraid to allow yourself to do just that. Take each day at a time and don’t expect too much of yourself.

Re the antidepressants, how long did you stick with them for? They can take a few weeks to fully take effect. I’ve been on Sertraline for a number of years now and it’s helped me cope with everything. There are a number of different types and it could be that you just need to find the right one for you.

Please, please remember that you have a whole network of friends on here. You are not useless. You are not pathetic. But you are human and it is ok to feel like this.xx

[Gingey28]

Thank you guys.

Wow Sherima how dare you say shouting is a form of abuse. So you are basically saying that because we shout at our  children we are abusing them. I find that highly offensive and downright out of order

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[Gingey28]

Thank you theyogajeanie. I have tried tablets for a long time and they havent worked for me. Glad they have for you, we all different hey.

I do have help my mum has my son overnight Wednesday and all day and night thursday. So from about 6pm Wednesday to around lunchtime friday i have me time to do whatever whenever i want

[Sherinam]

Shouting at your children is abuse!  especially if you are yelling at one year old . There are ways of telling your children what they have done is naughty.  Good for you if  think that is good parenting shouting at a baby because it’s out of order!

[Neika]

Hi Gingey! I feel better if I exercise, get enough sleep and eat well ( or reasonably well but stuffing myself with chocolate/ ice cream don’t really help in a long term) And stick to the bedtime routine so you get some ‘me’ time every evening.  You could try cycling or  dancing? Music can help. Even if you play it in a flat you don’t like and you are dancing on your own 🙂 Don’t know about you but some days staying indoors is better- just the sight of all the happy families around when you are on your own can be too much

[Gingey28]

Hi Neika

Aw thanks for ur message. Hehe like that dancing in my flat haha tbh i love music and do play a bit when on my own.

Yeah is tough but i find i have to be out a lot sp i dont dwell on feeling lonely and its tough to keep my son entertained. He loves going out too and seeing family im very lucky just really is draining hey

Glad not all people on here say i am abusive.

How are you doing?

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