Really don’t know what to do anymore

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  • #56905 Report

    Twink8
    Participant

    First time I have ever done anything like this as always scared if partner found out but I’m at the point now I don’t know what to do

    I met my partner when I was at my lowest point and I could say he built me up again he has three children from an ex and I have a son from an ex who is 14 we have two children together one is 5 and the other is 1 I have always worked and last December I found a job while on maternity leave from my previous job which the pay was better so I went for it I excepted the job and started and have loved it as I’m constantly learning every time I go to work hours are very long 12 hour shifts three days a week dad looks after his kids which I can’t fault but ever since I’ve started the job partner always expects me to pay everything full rent council tax bills and I have spoke to him explaining I keep paying for everything I need some support I know he looks after his kids as I can’t afford childcare and wouldn’t be able to work otherwise but I’m getting so depressed as I’m more in debt with credit cards and struggling to make ends meet I keep explaining to him I can’t keep doing this and he is quick to shut me down partner does not work as he can’t find a job due to his long CRB from past when he tried to ask for help at the job centre they turned him away saying they couldn’t help due to his past criminal background

    partner has changed since I met him we can go without talking for days then act like nothing has happened and now we aren’t talking all because I went shopping and he said I should have enough money to pay for his girls trainers I have my own kids I need to support every night I go to bed in my girls bedroom and cry we don’t share a room as he says he needs space and prefers it that way I’m going on such a low depression I’m getting so many headaches due to stress I just feel run down I haven’t seen my sister for two years ( my mum for 4 years) as when I use to see her he would get funny with me so I just thought it’s better to save the headache and not see my family I can’t see any friends I don’t even get close to people as I know I won’t be able to do anything with them like playgroups or meet for a coffee I just feel so lonely

    so now we aren’t talking again I feel like this is it when he decided to talk to me I want to say I’m not happy anymore but I’m so scared he will get angry as when I said to him last year we can’t keep doing this he turned around and said I wouldn’t survive on my own and that I’m an ungrateful ***** as he picked me up when no one else would …..

    I just don’t know what to do sometimes I’ve actually had thoughts that I wasn’t around anymore as it gets so overwhelming I’m just so fed up I want to smile and laugh with my children not to walk on eggshells

    #56907 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    sorry to hear your going through a rough time. would both of you consider couples counselling?

    #57094 Report

    Emumma
    Participant

    Hi Twink8

    I really feel for you 🙁 It sounds like you are under an enormous amount of stress and I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time 😢

    I would really recommend looking up The Freedom Programme online – but do please read this away from your partner.

    It will give you some really good insights and let you know you’re not alone.

    Big hugs to you xxx

    Emma

     

     

     

    #57098 Report

    Sailwemust
    Participant

    Agree, you might find the freedom program enlightening. Some of these behaviours especially the isolation sound pretty iffy.

    So sorry you’re going through a hard time.

    #57139 Report

    Hi there

    I’m sorry you are experiencing this. This sounds very difficult.  There will be other people on this forum who have been through similar things and have come out the other side.

    I can recommend the National Domestic Violence helpline.  I have mentioned this as you have talked about being scared that he may get angry.  They will be able to help you to explore your options.

    • National Domestic Violence helpline – for support with regards to current or historic abuse  Freephone, 24-hour: 0808 2000 247 http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

    I hope this helps, Justine

    #57140 Report

    Hi there

    I’m sorry you are experiencing this. This sounds very difficult.  There will be other people on this forum who have been through similar things and have come out the other side.

    I can recommend the National Domestic Violence helpline.  I have mentioned this as you have talked about being scared that he may get angry.  They will be able to help you to explore your options.

    • National Domestic Violence helpline – for support with regards to current or historic abuse  Freephone, 24-hour: 0808 2000 247 http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

    I hope this helps, Justine

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