30 November 2020 at 12:05 pm #46416
so it was the nice lady on the phone from 111 today who recommended i come here. I haven’t been feeling well and my mental health has taken a Swan dive I think. I was on anti depressants years ago after my first baby (i had a traumatic birth and they put me on them to help get over it. Which worked for a bit) now I’m thinking I might need them again which makes me feel like I’ve failed an not managed to do it by myself. I know everyone is in the same boat with covid an lockdown but I feel I’ve just isolated myself an completely cut myself off. The only person I see is my babies dad…. an abusive gaslighter of a man who if he knows of any weakness will just try an take her from me. We went to court over his access an they gave him twice a week. I thought that would be the end but he still wants more involvement in our lives. The shadow over my shoulder i can’t breathe without. Waiting for me to slip up so he can take her. Its exhausting and lately I’ve just been more emotional missing my life before all of this an the person who I used to be. Who had alot of friends. Was a bubbly outgoing girl who loved a dance an a laugh. Who loved to flirt with the lads until one majorly broke my heart an I dont think I’ve ever recovered going on 4years later. I guess I’m lookin for a friend. Or help or anything really. I have two beautiful girls who are my whole world but beyond them I have nothing. When you’ve lost yourself an youre a total shadow of the girl you used to be where the hell do you start30 November 2020 at 5:44 pm #46433
I am sure your ex isnt trying to wait for you to slip up. He is just a dad that wants to see his children . He sees them on average 2 x a week a lot of dads get their kids 3 x a week on average. Although he does have contact u can use schools for handover points or a neutral venue if things are awkward.
Lockdown is horrible and once its over u may feel better. Have you thought about meeting up with other single mums at school or maybe joining a gym or going for walks etc as thats good for mental health and all.30 November 2020 at 8:50 pm #46442
Warwickshire is right, if the only person you see is the babies’ dad then you’re bombarded with influence or perspective from him alone. As soon as you start mixing with other mums be it online or phone or in person you’ll soon realize you’re doing a great job as a mum and loads of people are in similar situations all feeling like they are doing rubbish when nothing could be further from the truth and just need someone to remind them of that.
If someone is put in a situation where they are told something over and over again they end up believing it…. you just need positive feedback from people who’ve got your back. I don’t really know ANYONE who is doing great at the moment… as Warwickshire said about lockdown is affecting everyone’s mental health and most people are just trying to get by, so cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break. You’re a mother but you’re a person in your own right too. Start looking after yourself and you’ll find any role… mother, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, ….. will become easier.
You’re going to be ok.1 December 2020 at 8:12 am #46457
You can pm me and add on Facebook or I will give you my number, you are not alone , you don’t deserve to feel on your own ; you can and are doing this! You should be proud of yourself ;1 December 2020 at 1:08 pm #46484
Thankyou for your lovely words. Think there the nicest things that have been said to me for the longest time. It might be different if there wasn’t lockdown, I’d probably have more space and be able to do what I normally would. Just feel trapped with only the ex for company! I did think about a gym, im hoping there open now but I think I might have to call an see what the situation is. I figured if he has the kids I might as well use the time to do something for myself…. I’ve put weight on and I know that’s not helping my mood either. Thankyou for your kindness. Please keep talking and if there is anything I can do message me. Its nice to finally have support xxx1 December 2020 at 4:21 pm #46490
Gyms are open all over the country no matter what tier you are placed in as from 2moro. There will be other things you will be able to do from 2moro as well so hopefully it will make you feel a little bit better.