Raising sons as a single mum!
7 March 2020 at 8:40 pm #37556
If anyone can share their own experiences please do.
I have a 2 year old boy and a 9 month old daughter. Luckily for me my daughter is an absolute angel, my son is going through the terrible 2’s, hes strong, stubborn, often aggressive, wild & always on the go! I take him to nursery where hes there 3 mornings a week without me, i take him to do activities almost every other day but it is still not enough….im burnt out and need some help! He is too much of an hand ful for any of my friends and we are all women in my family.
My son needs a male role model to take him to do boys things!
Any advice what i can do?7 March 2020 at 9:58 pm #37577
As a single mom to a 7 year old, I can understand and feel your situation. Unfortunately, I’ve been alone with my little devil since birth (I’ve had one partner who survived a year!!)
Boys are extremely tough and very energetic!! What kind of places do you take him to?? I found soft play areas didn’t interest my boy, he was far too destructive!!!! The hardest part is finding something cost effective but also interesting for him!!7 March 2020 at 10:06 pm #37580
I think boys are generally harder work, my sister in law has three boys and they were always a handful, I have two girls who are now 11 and 14 but i imagine they will be a handful, my eldest now is more independent which worries me, my youngest is still my baby and always wanting hugs etc but then i guess she will change in a few years time and will be out doing her own thing, I guess i have not really helped you but just do what you are doing, taking him to activities etc, you sound like you are doing good. Paul9 March 2020 at 8:26 pm #37667
Thankyou so much for your replys.
I just psychology always feel like im not enough. Im not a very sporty or active person, im quite introverted and was very quiet as a child.
My son is very upfront and confident and wild. I often find it challenging what to do with him that i can find enjoyable & my 9 month old daughter. Its always so exhausting, and i feel like he needs a Male role model which i can’t give him 🙁9 March 2020 at 11:44 pm #37672
You ARE more than enough! <3 Boys need strong role models regardless of their gender, children of same sex parents don’t necessarily miss out on having a mother figure or father figure. And children of single parents rarely complain about missing out on stuff just because of the sex of their parent – especially when so young. more often than not, mum guilt puts all these silly ideas of inadequacy in our heads and they’re completely unfounded – You are his world!
a two year old OR a 9 month old are both challenging enough when you’re on your own never mind when you’re parenting both together! But burn out is real, even if he is a bit of a tear away, maybe see if a friend or relative could take him for an hour or two to burn off some energy – run around a field, push the grown up on the swing, search for pretty shells on a beach. With my nephew, I see to trick him into racing me; “I’ll race you down the path to the swings.” I’ll have taken 10 steps while he’s raced 10 yards. Next “I wonder how long it will take you to run to the gate and back?” Off he goes. “Hmmmm I’ve seen you run faster than that – do it again and I’ll time you.” And repeat/adapt and he’s soon tuckered out while you’ve barely moved. I reckon it’ll be easier as the weather impeoves.
And maybe arrange for someone else to take your daughter so you can have some proper down time to yourself. It’s really hard to take time for some personal TLC and it’s really hard to admit that you’re suffering with burnout and need some time to yourself but it’s also a really brave thing to do, and from personal experience, it can be surprising how many people want to come to your rescue. I recently made a WhatsApp group of all the people who’ve offered me help and made a plea, I said I’m at breaking point and if you really meant it, then now’s the time to step up. I was desperate and I was then inundated with offers. They made a timetable of someone to help daily for a week. It only took 2 hours sleep before I started feeling human again and by the end of the week I felt like me again. You don’t know if you don’t ask.
He’s lucky to have you as his mummy x10 March 2020 at 10:01 am #37676
josiePanda08 you have no idea how much i needed to hear all of that! Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply to my message and for all your input.
I know i just need a break, to recharge and refuel cause i am running on empty. Even showering or taking a bath is stressful because i know i have limited time so there are many times where i just avoid it at all costs. Even going to sleep it feels like its a chore because i know it wont be long until i wake up and start all over again. Yesterday was my first bath since xmas (20-30 mins) and it felt amazing but i then had my mum panicking that id been too long.
I will try and reach out for help, i find it so much easier opening up to total strangers than i do telling close friends or family because i dont want to be the subject of gossip.
Any suggestions how i can ask for help without sounding so desperate? Even though i am :/10 March 2020 at 6:08 pm #37690
For me I just swallowed my pride and literally said I’m desperate. Past the point of caring if I’m gossip or not, the people who care won’t be interested in gossiping about you but may talk about you out of concern x