Raising my child with no father involved

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    Hi everyone, I Was in an abusive relationship with my daughters father for 5 years I fell pregnant and left him when I was 20 weeks pregnant due to police call outs from him threatening our unborn child to kick her out of me ect I denied he said it because I was scared what he would do if I told the truth and the police dropped it all which lead to social care, 3 weeks after there involvement I left the relationship and got a restraining order, which he has breached a number of times but got away with it as there was lack Of evidence but eventually the police remanded him in custody which is where he currently is, waiting on a trial date because of course he pleaded not guilty. Aside from all that we are going through family courts as he is wanting 50/50, she is 1 years old now and never met him, he’s not on the birth certificate, as a mother it’s my duty to safeguard my daughter from him and that’s what iv done and stuck by!!! I’m just very anxious whether he will get contact with her or not because the domestic abuse evidence isn’t the greatest iv only really got social services evidence and the fact he’s breached his restraining order. But on a serious note I’m terrified for her safety. Has anyone else been in my position?

    #58302 Report


    Hi Srowe94,

    so sorry to hear you have experienced this, it happens to too many of us!! but seriously well done for getting out, and persevering with protecting your child and yourself, you sound like a very strong awesome parent 🙂

    at least happy thoughts, he’s likely stat somewhere cramped, confined and smelling like the stain he is 🙂

    It can be very typical for abusers to gaslight us into dropping a case, which of course is not your fault at all. Even if you don’t have all the evidence of everything he has done, the fact social care services supported you to get out & he has been a obvious idiot breaking the restraining order to get locked up… you are in a good position to say he isn’t responsible & cant be trusted.

    You are right to be concerned about family court, often as in law it’s entirely separate to criminal law, a lot can get missed… an ill informed judge or poorly trained solicitor can be a disaster in many cases!! – were you signposted to Rights of Women ?

    – they can give you the best legal advice &/ help access legal advice with a solicitor trained in domestic abuse; who are generally much more able to present this in court. RoW can also help you get connected with more support & an advocate if needed too. You are not alone in this, but support is out there xx

    Rights of Women – Helping Women Through The LawRights of Women | helping women through the law

    all the best xx

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