hi, im new to this group. Brief background. Married to my husband for nearly 8 yrs and together for 16yrs. 7 weeks ago he declared out the blue he didn’t love me, we had been disagreeing on his attention on a female friend for the last 6 months. He promised me nothing going on but after 2 weeks of leaving they are now a couple. We have 2 children aged 5 and 7. We have a very large joint mortgage which we are one year in to a fixed 5 yr rate. It’s been 7 weeks since he left
The agreement I’m asking for is half the mortgage, money for the children and not to take the new girlfriend around the children.
He wants me to agree in writing to giving him 60/40 split of the house if we sell in 4 years time, he won’t agree to keep her away from the kids and says he doesn’t have to give me mortgage money and child maintenance.
Its been a very emotional 7 weeks and feel he is bullying me to make a decision when I’m still trying to get to terms of the separation and new girlfriend. He has only seen the kids 3 times since we split (his choice). He has also admitted to smoking weed when we were together and now with his new girlfriend.
i am going to get some free legal advice this week any suggestions of questions to ask about the house, bills and kids
When you see the solicitor, take as much information with you as possible – bank statements, mortgage, pensions, Isas, do a summary of bills for each quarter of the last year. Include children’s activities & sports clubs, holiday childcare etc
think about access and what will work for you. What extra childcare will you need now their father is not around.
ask about life insurance because exes have a nasty habit of cancelling it without telling you.
don’t be rushed. You don’t need to agree to anything yet. Choose a second solicitor if the first doesn’t feel right. And remember to take some time for yourself, take care.