Hello, I’m reaching out I guess as I just feel totally devastated and honestly feel like I don’t want to be here anymore.
I have 2 children from a previous relationship. Nasty relationship! It took me 10 years
to build the currage to get out of that marriage! Never thought I’d meet anyone and I did. Fell madly in love with my currently partner. We’ve been together 2 years and things have been amazing. Both had children from previous relationships and never thought we’d have anymore (were late 30’s/40’s!) but he said he wanted us to have a baby 🙂 I was so happy.
We got pregnant and felt like everything was amazing too amazing. Our baby died I was 36 weeks pregnant! His heart stopped. That was early this year. I have struggled beyond belief with this. He’s had his funeral and been buried my kids are still struggling with this.
We both said we wanted a baby and try again when ready. I got pregnant had a miscarriage. Got pregnant again and now pregnant. We’ve been so happy although after a stillbirth it’s difficult, you feel you can’t let yourself be happy about a pregnancy knowing what can happen.
Our baby who died and what happened will live with me for the rest of my life. I feel it has destroyed me. I have felt negative more than I was before. I have felt sucicidal and no I wasn’t like this at all before!
Anyway my partner has now said he is leaving!!!!!! Im not the person I used to be, and I just can’t cope. No of course im not the same. But we planned this pregnancy and now im left alone?! And how can we be talking about how excited we are to get married one day, the next nope. I know he is scared as had problems with his exes and the kids from those relationships. But I am not them.
Im scared. I feel this is a total nightmare. Im lonely and how on earth am I going to cope with a newborn on my own?! I just feel sick to my stomach at the moment. I didn’t know what else to do so came across this website and can’t find a group near where I live Bristol, but I need some help or advice :/ xx thanks for reading
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