Pregnant and struggling to enjoy the journey on my own.

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This topic contains 25 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Sherima 1 month, 1 week ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 26 total)
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  • #22514 Report

    Ghost
    Participant

    Hi all,

    Just thought I would join as I’m 16 weeks pregnant and going to be a single mom.

    Im so happy about the pregnancy but I did have a missed miscarriage last year and  that is making me very anxious this time around especially as I  no longer have a partner or anyone I feel comfortable talking to.

    I am feeling a little alone, I dont have any friends really to go out with and I don’t know how to enjoy the experience by myself without feeling scared and anxious.

    Does anyone have any advice?

    Thankyou xxx

     

     

     

    #22515 Report

    CH86
    Participant

    Hi

    Im in a similar situation as you, single and pregnant at 15weeks. I also feel alone with no one I really feel comfortable talking to.

    The father is pressuring me to get a termination this late on as he says it’s going to be so hard for me to do this on my own (he has no intentions of being around as he’s moving to the U.S.). I’m just so confused on what to do and don’t really have anyone to talk to. My mum thinks a termination is the right thing to do, although she has said she’ll try to help me as much as she can.

    although I can’t give you any advice sorry, I am hear to talk if you need to. X

    #22516 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    Hi Ghost

    Thought id say hi as i seen your post. Congrats on the pregnancy. I totally understand what you mean the thought on your own is scary. I would have loved to shared the joy with my sons Father but he said he didnt want to know and so that’s his issue and he clearly cant handle the responsibility. Many cant.

    Hopefully you will get to talk to a lot of people in the same position on here. I found it helps a lot as people really understand. I find it tough on my own but i have great family support. Only moved out of my Mums less than year ago, well moved twice in that time has been a big year but im proud to say i have a nice little home for me and my son.

    Please feel free to chat anytime. Opening up is good. I used to be fascinated about the journey of my pregnancy and how big the baby was and looking at how he developed. It kept me going and i just bought bits every so often and soon built up

    #22518 Report

    Ghost
    Participant

    Hi CH86.

    Thankyou so much for your reply.

    Im so sorry to hear you feel alone too its awful with no one to talk to. I dont have a close family so ive not even told them im pregnant yet.

    I just wish I had someone to share special moments with or friends to enjoy the experience and get excited with. I just feel lost at the moment. Like I’m really happy about my pregnancy but I’m sad about being on my own and scared.

    You have to do what’s best for you hun and only you know that.

    I got pressured into having a termination when I was younger, it was never something I wanted to do and I can honestly say it’s the worst thing I ever did and I regret it every single day. So you need to make that sort of decision for yourself hun and try not to let anyone change your mind. Thats the only advice I can give you. Are you happy about being pregnant or is a termination something you want to consider?

    Thankyou so much, I’m here if you need to talk too. We all need to stick together. Xxx

     

     

    #22519 Report

    Ghost
    Participant

    Hi gingey 28.

    Thankyou so much for your reply, I am very excited about my pregnancy, I just can’t stop the anxiety I keep getting and I keep paying for private scans to check everything is ok.

    I’m so glad you and your little one are doing good on your own. You must be so pleased!

    I know its going to be hard but i know i can do this, Im just getting sad all the time about not having anyone to share these special moments with and worried about doing a good job.

    Aww thankyou that’s really nice. I hope so, i think if i had more people to talk to, i would feel a bit better. I thought about joining a friendship group that they do on the website but there isnt one in my area so i came on here hoping to find someone to talk to. You can talk to me too hun xxx

     

    #22520 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    Hi As long as you are healthy and the baby focus on that.

    Yes my Dad never been involved with me and i always never wanted this for my son but its the way it is. I dont want any trouble, although the babys Dad got his mates to txt and harrass me, at the time i was worried as i had just moved and getting texts saying we know where you are is scary when I was on my own with a 8month old. My Mum is amazing and i look to her for my guidance. Its tough on my own but im made up i dont have to share parenting witha horrible person and my son is with people i trust.

    I have ups and downs, not always get along with my family and sometimes feel like everythin is getting me down but I know how strong i am to do this.

    Yes thank you. I find this forum helps a lot. To hear people say the same things is reassuring. Your feelings are only natural and you want the best for your baby and also for you, you need to look after you too. Any crazy cravings yet? I never had any i think i went off coffee and hated smells of air freshener or body sprays, like bought new ones all time haha x

    #22521 Report

    Ghost
    Participant

    Oh gosh I bet that was well scary, sounds like it’s a good job he’s not in your life anymore if that’s the sort of person he is. It’s his loss not yours or your sons.  Im sure your son is very happy with just his mommy!

    That’s how I feel I never wanted things to be this way,  but they are and I have to find a way to accept it because that’s the main thing getting to me I think.

    I’m trying my best to be healthy. I went off all food and couldn’t tolerate any sort of smell for the first 13weeks, I had to force myself to eat. And then I went 2 weeks of just wanting cake all the time and this week all i want are the sun bites crisps sweet chilli flavour. I struggle with hot food aswell, when I make something I need to wait for it to go cold but that’s all the symptoms I have at the moment. Sometimes I feel all good and then panic that there’s something wrong. I have my 20week scan on the 23rd April but I cant wait that long and booked a private one for next week haha.

    As long as my little one is ok in there then I will be ok.

    How old is your son now? Xxx

    #22529 Report

    Morning all

    Its good to see you all sharing your experience.  It sounds like there are some similarities.  Making a decision on whether to continue with a pregnancy is a difficult process, but being informed can help you to support the choices you make.  Here are some agencies that can help you to explore this:

    <!  British Pregnancy Advisory Service advises on the options and choices to make. Their number is: 03457 304030

    <!  Relate – If you want to talk to someone about the relationship and whether you wish to have the baby.  Contact 0300 100 1234

    Hope this helps, Justine

    #22605 Report

    Gingey28
    Participant

    We were not in a relationship so was no break up but he had a right to know i was pregnant not my fault he is a coward and wont face respinsibilities.

    My son is 1 and half he is a lovely little boy so funny

    #22905 Report

    Sarah0407
    Participant

    Just wanted to say hi.

    My beautiful son is nearly 5 his never meet his father and never will as he doesn’t want to no his son.

    Going to party is the worst with all the mummy’s and daddy’s.

    I don’t have friends only school mummy’s I say hi to  Have my mum and she’s been amazing.

    #23004 Report

    Ghost
    Participant

    Hi Sarah.

    The father of my baby to be is with someone else now and he doesn’t seem bothered about me or our child.

    How are you finding it on your own? I don’t have any friends either and I’m not close to my family. I feel really alone.  I have no one to celebrate my pregnancy with either and I’m finding it hard to think positive about things.

     

    To all, I did have some good news yesterday. I’m now 17weeks and 6days pregnant. I had a reasurance scan yesterday and everything is going well so far and she said I’m having a boy!! Very happy! I’m going to check at my 20week scan on the gender to be sure but I am getting very excited and nervous at the same time. So glad everything is going well so far. And I have realised that I know nothing about boys so if any of you have any tips let me know lol

    #23005 Report

    Sarah0407
    Participant

    He was my miracle baby i wanted a baby so much after loseing one and then being told i couldn’t have children. It has been really hard not having anyone to share things with but he such a good little boy alway happy so i must of done something right. I had a really hard pregnancy my son has just expired he doesn’t have a father.

    XX

    #23010 Report

    Hi Sarah0407

    Just to let you know that I have edited your post.  I have sent you a private message which explains the reason for this.

    Thanks, Justine

    #23014 Report

    choosingtogoitalone
    Participant

    Hi!

    I’m new here and also pregnant and single. I chose it though. Using a donor and going through IVF as after the last relationship broke down (he was an alcoholic) I knew I was out of time and it was “now or never”….i’ve wanted to be a mum for over 15 years

    I worked with parents with postnatal depression for quite some time and one thing I saw a lot was that people often had such high expectations of what they should feel and when they didn’t they would spiral downwards

    I keep reminding myself of this. I know that although i’m thrilled to be pregnant and very excited, i’m also grieving the loss of the dream I thought would happen…having a baby with someone I love…having support…

    I think that’s normal!

     

    Maybe let yourself off the hook.a little bit. Give yourself a mental cuddle. There’s so much pressure to feel this and feel that (especially when bub arrives!) but we are all different with different situations.

    Let yourself feel what you feel (and don’t forget the hormones!! Crikey!!) and take little steps to help you find some friends and joy…a new hobby…visit a place you love…make some food you love…watch a funny film…reach out to an old friend or colleague…

    Wishing you lots of luck!!!

    What an adventure we’re on!!

    #23111 Report

    Ghost
    Participant

    Thanks Sarah. I’m sure your doing an amazing job with him. Message me anytime hun. Aww in my pregnancy now, after my miscarriage last year I just feel so anxious. Sorry to hear you had a bad pregnancy hun and with no one to talk to its even worse  but at least it was all worth it now with your amazing little one!!! X

     

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