Pregnant and single. Advice on situation needed please xx

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by SingleMumma.
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  • #30285 Report

    SingleMumma
    Participant

    hi everyone.

    I am.pregnant with my first baby and single. Myself and the father were only together a month when I fell pregnant and we broke up around a month ago when I found out he had cheated on me during the pregnancy. I am 6 months pregnant at the moment.

    Due to being single I will be unable to remain living in my flat as it will be too expensive when on mat leave. I have decided to maybe try and live with my parents when baby arrives until I can stand on my own two feet again.

    My parents live around a 12 minute train journey from the town myself and the father live in at the moment and then around a 15 min walk. Neither of us drive.

    The babys dad isn’t very happy with my decision and it is making me feel selfish however with everything I have been through I feel being closer to my family will be a good support.it is upsetting me as I wanted to live with him and be a family but when I found out he had been cheating the situation changed.

    Despite the cheating I want him to be a part of the babies life and would never stop that but I think he feels the child not being as close will be an issue.

    Am i being unreasonable?

    Advice would be helpful as I feel so stuck however moving home really would be one of my only options at the moment.

    I would be grateful for any advice thank you xxxx

    #30287 Report

    richard_s
    Participant

    You are not being unreasonable at all, quite the opposite, and the father should not be making you feel this way.  It sounds like he is the one acting unreasonably. All you are doing is what’s right for you and your child. It sounds a completely sensible decision you are making to live where you can get reliable support from your family. I am sure you will be very glad of this support and that you made this decision.

    I find it sad that some fathers put their own considerations and interests before that of their child/children. I used to regularly travel up to 4 hours each way to maintain my relationship with my elder daughter, after me and her mum broke up. A 30 minute journey is nothing, in the scheme of things. If he is truly committed, this need not be a problem.

    I can imagine that what he’s said could reflect a degree of fear and anxiety on his part. He may be worried that you moving away will mean he is cut out of his child’s life or that his role might be restricted. A lot has happened in a short space of time. But he needs to put his fears aside, and recognise that what’s best for you right now is also what’s best for your child.

    It sounds 100% like you’re doing the right thing and can only wish you all the best with everything.

     

    #30291 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi Single, you are doing exactly the right thing.

    Your ex has no right to complain. He isn’t offering any emotional support, has cheated on you and is unwilling to make a home together.

    You are doing the best thing for yourself and your child. He sounds extremely selfish. 30 minutes is nothing and if he is any kind of father, won’t bother him at all. Good luck with the baby.

     

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